Standing in the refrigerator
trying to find the toast comes from France.
I ate a Big Mac, that taste is now coming back.
I didn't want to burp, but I had no chance.

Rice, you know it ain't tasty.
It ain't delicious, you see.
The way things are going,
they're gonna pasteurize me.

Finally found my hot cocoa's sugar.
Honeymooning with stomach pain.
Doctor Brown called to say, "You can make it okay.
You can get married if no more pounds you gain."

Rice, you know it ain't tasty.
It ain't delicious, you see.
The way things are going,
they're gonna pasteurize me.

Drove from Wendy's to the Amsterdam Arby's.
Don't care what that Doc Atkins says.
The newspeople said, "Why you eat candy in bed?"
I said, "We're only trying to get us some Pez!"

Rice, you know it ain't tasty.
It ain't delicious, you see.
The way things are going,
they're gonna pasteurize me.

Saving all our money for a pizza day.
Giving my old clothes to charity.
Last night, the wife said, "Fat boy, you'll be dead.
You won't take nothing with you, no pork roll! Think!"

Eating sausages of Vienna.
Fifty Happy Meals in a bag.
The newspeople said, "She's gone to his head.
They look like Jackie Gleason in drag!"

Rice, you know it ain't tasty.
It ain't delicious, you see.
The way things are going,
they're gonna pasteurize me.

Caught the early flight back to Newark.
Barfing in my White Castle sack.
The men from the press said, "You made such a mess.
It looks like all your food's coming back!"

Rice! You know it ain't tasty.
It ain't delicious, you see.
The way things are going,
they're gonna pasteurize me!
The way things are going,
they're gonna pasteurize me!