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Song Parodies -> "When We're Ninety-Four"

Original Song Title:

"When I'm Sixty-Four"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"When We're Ninety-Four"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

For the first time ever, a major-party nominee for President or Vice President is younger than I am -- by a few days, but younger nonetheless. What does Paul Ryan care if Social Security and Medicare aren't there on January 29, 2035, when he joins me in being 65 years old? He's got a Congressional pension to rely on.
(instrumental opening)

When I get older, losing my hair
many years from now
will I get my earned Social Security?
Or will rich guys get new annuity?
Cutting their taxes, ruin my life?
Something I deplore!
Ryan, you're jerkin'.
I'll still be workin'
when I'm seventy-four!

You'll be older, too.
If you say one more word
you'll regret that, too!

I could get angry, blowing my fuse
if Medicare's gone.
You and Mitt would toss it in the fireside.
All of us, you'd take for a ride.
Resolve is hardened, you're just a weed.
Rotten to the core.
Ryan, you're jerkin'.
I'll still be workin'
when I'm eighty-four!

Every summer, I'll be selling ice cream at a boardwalk stand
though the cost is dear.
Nothing that I saved
(nothing that I saved)
grandchildren, they will get
be... cause... you're... de... praved!

Barack Obama, Joseph Biden
Bob Menendez, too
Congressman Rush Holt, they all will get my vote!
Won't let you grab us by the throat!
Right-wingers' future, we must prevent:
That's wrong kind of "gore!"
Ryan, you'll get it!
I won't regret it
when we're ninety-four!
Hoo!

(instrumental close)
Romney, of course, is already 65. Four years ago, John McCain also chose a running mate young enough to be his child. He was just being a dirty old man. But Romney and Ryan? That's a genuine love affair. A marriage so gay it makes Liza Minnelli and David Gest look like Bogie and Bacall!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 1
 
 2   0
 1
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 1
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   10
 9
 9
 

User Comments

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Patrick - August 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Obama's death panels won't let you live to be 94. I can forsee the government forcing geezers to retire to make jobs available to younger workers. I've got just a few years to 65. If Social Security is still around, they'll be paying us in Zimbabwean toilet paper. Medicare is not the same thing as medical care. Ask the doctors who are dropping out of the system rather than deal with all the bureaucratic nonsense.
C4 - August 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Forget it, Pat. Michael here never got past age 12.
worried - August 14, 2012 - Report this comment
i am a republican and am now forced to agree that Obama is the lesser of the two evils. paul ryan is an ideological rightwing psychopath that would cut entitlements while preserving the tax breaks for the rich and corporate america. why do both parties wanna hurt the middle class, students, and the poor so much? they are servants of this republic but act like demi-gods obsessed with power and greed. sad. really sad.
Callmelennie - August 14, 2012 - Report this comment
I'm more than 1000% sure you're not a Republican, Worried, if you think Ryan is the lesser of two evils and you're calling Ryan a right wing psychopath. In fact all Republicans I know are excited about Ryan
Anon - August 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Not those living in Florida ;-)
Raúl Paian - August 14, 2012 - Report this comment
The actual death panel will be rich douchebags Romney and Ryan cutting off healthcare to tens of millions, should these two monsters get elected.
Anon - August 14, 2012 - Report this comment
They lost already despite what early polling shows. Romney-Ryan will not get the Hispanic vote and just lost a huge amount of the Independent vote. They will lose the majority of swing states and women's votes too. Romney can spend as much as he likes but he will not be able to buy the votes he needs to get elected. The fact that he already is in dispute with Ryan's current plans only proves that he chose him to appease the fascist Tea Party. Romney is not Conservative enough by himself to assure them so he chose Ryan to appease them. Romney may see more red states than McCain on election day but the sea of blue will again prevail. A rich outsider and a ideological monster is a bad combination during tough times. Any talk of cutting vs creation is bound to lose. People want employment, not more taxes and less coverage. Ironic that the Romney campaign slams Obama for class warfare and yet under Romney-Ryan the rich and fat corporations will still get the tax breaks while the middle class and the poor get tax raises. Retiring baby-boomers will lose Medicare and Social Security will be cut back too. So it is the GOP that is winning in class warfare. A nation divided cannot stand... Romney-Ryan!
Meriadoc - August 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Michael, SS and Medicade/Medicare are going to go broke no matter who gets in, simply because so many people are gaming the system. I see it 20-30 times a day (no exaggeration) where I work.

As for the parody - enjoyed your progression from 64 to 94, good use of the OS.
worried - August 15, 2012 - Report this comment
i have voted Republican for a long time but see no valid reason to vote for Romney-Ryan. If they are fighting already over Romney's economic plan vs Ryan's that sends a bad message to voters. Romney only chose that guy to impress the conservatives in the GOP. And maybe those are the most impressed, but i am not. anyone that boasts about ending medicare as we know it and cutting into social scurity as part of the master plan is undeserving of my vote. i am too busy helping the elderly and homeless to vote for a pair of rich guys who care little of anyone who is stuggling just to stay alive in the united states during this awful recession. Romney promised job creation as priority 1 and now its just extreme cutting, hurting the most vunerable in society at the worst time in our history. sorry, but they lost my vote
Brock O'Brahma - August 15, 2012 - Report this comment
@ worried. I'm worried too . Have been every since Obamacare got passed and nobody knew what was in it (especially Nancy Pelosi). Worried since Obama added 5 trillion in debt after promising to halve existing debt. Now for social security and Medicare. Google "why ponzi schemes fail", you'll find a wealth of info on that. Social security is, by definition, a ponzi scheme. One reason it's lasted this long is we're all forced to buy into it. Bernie Madoff would still be going strong if he had that sweet deal. But, like all ponzi schemes, they go bust. Let's kill the messenger for telling that truth. Medicare and Medicaid were sold to the American public on one huge lie: cost. In 1965, congressional budget forecasters predicted it would cost 12 billion by 1990. Actual cost: 100 billion, give or take 10 billion. Medicaids 1st year projection was 238 million. Actual cost: 1 billion and going up every year. We now have Obamacare. Add 4 to 8 times the cost of the original lie and we've got another bloated, inefficient government program to shackle the economy. If I could wave a magic wand and install Libertarians in the House, Senate, and WH, this country would get the fiscal ass kicking it needs and deserves.
Michael Pacholek - August 16, 2012 - Report this comment
So the SOB above me wants us to party like it's 1894. Not even the Food & Drug Administration to protect us, let alone the New Deal. "Libertarian" is just fascism that lets you smoke pot -- which you can't afford anyway.
Patrick - August 16, 2012 - Report this comment
How long would any company last in a truly free market if it's products harmed the people who used them? It's easier and cheaper to bribe a government inspector or two than to hide the truth from millions of consumers, especially in our information age. The problem with all of these liberal schemes is: someone has to pay for them. And there aren't enough rich SOB's to pick up the tab, even if you put them all in chains.
Brock SO'Brahma - August 16, 2012 - Report this comment
We're partying like it's Orwells 1984 with thoughtcrimes and Big Bro and his propaganda campaign. Democrats are just socialists whose social justice and wealth distribution are what the whole country can't afford.

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