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Song Parodies -> "Any Lane"

Original Song Title:

"Penny Lane"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Any Lane"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

DKTOS? (Don't Know The Original Song?) Click ”> HERE

I kind of had my youngest child in mind when I wrote this. He just turned 19 and he's buying my old 2002 Jeep Liberty. He just got his license about three weeks ago and he is going on his first road trip. He has two church camps he is attending through the next two weeks. He left on Sunday. Hope he doesn't run into any of these wankers in this parody.
In any lane there is a driver texting photographs,
He does so head for bad disaster although.
As other drivers jet to and fro,
Have a clue? hell no.

Round a corner comes a wanker in his motorcar,
He's so bewild'rin' as he drives behind a hack.
And a tanker with the word spelled MACK™,
Hope his brakes don't go.

Any lane hey watch my rear, just sail on by,
There in reach a blue Suburban flies,
Oh spit, he's two lanes stacked.

In any lane there's a wired man late an hour past,
And as a rocket he does soar, jets on the scene.
His wheels they screech his fired engine screams.
Gone's the serene scene.

Any lane, except for here, for driving's I,
There's more of which, don't linger by
My bumper, lean well back.

Behind a welder as he fiddles changing in and out,
He's getting worse and driving sloppy in my way,
And so appears as if he's drank all day,
Much to my dismay.

In any lane a charter stays close with his bus bumper,
There be a clunker blocking with a dead engine.
Worn out tire and a busted rim,
Cause a boring chain, very strained.

Any lane, you stay in yours, I'll stay in mine,
Hear a screech; the blue Suburban slides.
I'm hit, my wheel well's whacked.

Any lane, long as it's clear, you can apply,
Someone teach that blue Suburban guy,
Any lane...

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 24

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   21

User Comments

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Phil Alexander - July 14, 2010 - Report this comment
I think I've run into.. er.. come across one or two of these sorts of drivers. Looks like they're not limited to this side of the pond :-)
WarrenB - July 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Texting while driving. Reading a paper while driving. Driving me crazy when they're not driving. Nice choice for your salute to those who prefer to play bumper cars in traffic.
Mark Scotti - July 14, 2010 - Report this comment
So very true, Guy. Classic "bashing" before "crashing"!! I did similar in:
Bilbopooh - July 14, 2010 - Report this comment
My brother got his license not long ago, and I sure worry about him sharing the road with so many hazards! Especially that texting... Great match with the song!
Crackhead McFloorit - July 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Great one, Guy--a real Hummer-dinger! and, 'bout perfectly sums up my drivin' style!
Old Man Ribber - July 14, 2010 - Report this comment
When using the Interstates, I drive in the Christy Lane (one day at a time, sweet Jesus!). Good job. ;D
Andy Primus - July 14, 2010 - Report this comment
LOL @ wanker/banker line - & also @ DKTOS (was you expecting beings from another planet to read it) :)
LadyLeBaroness - July 14, 2010 - Report this comment
SirGuy, hope there be no cracks, in your 'LIBERTY' Bell !
Guy - July 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Phil - some of them would do just fine on your side of the pond since they like to drive in the left lane anyway. I know how that works. I drove the left lane for three years in Japan. I had trouble with right turns when I returned to the states - I'd always wind up on the wrong side of the road. Thanks for chirping in.

Warren - I think SA has the worst drivers in the world almost. I've driven in Germany - now that will spoil you and you'll miss the good driving when you return. Thanks.

Bil. I worry about my 19 year old the same. too many crazies out there. Thanks for viewing today.

Crackhead - I'd think you'd be on the slow side but maybe not - I'm just guessing. Would you be more like the guy in the blue Suburban or that wanker fellow? BTW I used to drive a 1992 blue Suburban. I bought it new and drove it about 300,000 miles before it became too much to keep up.

Ribber - nice comeback of a comment. I like listening to Christy. Yeah - one day at a time and one Lane at a time as well. Thanks.

Andy - It's a British group right? I had to use some Brit speak in there somewhere. Besides I like that word "wanker" we should use it here in the states.

And Aliens? You'd be surprised at the number of folks who DKTOS "Penny Lane". Besides I plant a Youtube link on all my parodies - most of which have been ripped down by the RIAA. Every once in a while I get one that Youtube does not have. Quite rare to have that happen. Thanks Andy,

Lady of the wee high test cakes - Actually there are two Jeep Liberties in the family. I also have a 2006 model. I drive that one and we have a Dodge Ram pickup we just acquired. It has that hemi engine in it. Vroom! And at the present time neither Liberty has any discernible cracks or dents. I have yet to drive the Ram but I rode in it and it is a sweetie. I so much appreciate your visit to my page today. Thanks and have a lovely day.
Fiddlegirl - July 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Inspired title switch, and very funny parody! :)
Guy - July 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Why thank you Fiddlegirl. I shall put a bright red shiny apple on your desk as soon as school starts up again for being so kind with your comment.

I'm staying away from the political stuff for at least the next two posts. I like doing funny but sometimes I just have to get political when I get riled up about something.
Christie Marie M - July 14, 2010 - Report this comment
I can relate to this situation. I kind of like the slowest highway driver in America, no joke. That's because I get frightened of highways sometimes and I got into an accident on Route 46 when I set foot on the highway, due to the fact that there were too many maniacs on the road. I always drive on the slow lane because that's the lane I feel comfortable with. I guess I take up after my mom, but my dad and bro drive the fastest. Also, my dad accidentally hit a car of a young man from Maryland but good thing he didn't press charges. Well, anyways, a well written parody you wrote. Traffic on highways are so annoying and my leg gets cramped from pressing the brakes for too long. Next stop: Exit 555.
Guy - July 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Christi - My driving comfort zone is driving the same speed that all the other traffic is doing. So I drive the same speed that the majority of drivers are driving. My commute is about 18.5 miles to work. All but about two miles of that is expressway. The traffic on the expressways average about seven to ten MPH over the limit. I drive four diferent expressways on my commute. 98% of the concrete has speed limits set at 65 MPH. I will drive 73 MPH max. Rain is really bad to drive in down here. When the roads are wet I drive about 10 MPH below the speed limit and a lot slower during a cloud burst.

Thanks for dropping by and chatting a bit.
Andria - July 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Good one, Guy! Well-done and funny as usual.
My driving comfort zone is similar to yours, speed limits are 65mph on the interstates and 55mph on the beltways where I live, and I don't tend to go much over 70mph if I ever have to go over the speed limit. Luckily for me, my current transportation (a 1986 Cadillac) is an absolute tank albeit underpowered, so I'm simultaneously protected by low speed and heavy metal. :-)

$555 deducted from your insurance bill.
Guy - July 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Andria - You said Beltway. The only beltway I think I've been on is around Washington D.C. What you call beltways we call loops. Your transportation sounds interesting. Hey it's a Caddy! Thanks for reading and commenting.
Ann Hammond - July 14, 2010 - Report this comment
he he
Guy - July 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Ann - I love seeing that he he - thanks so much!
Scared Sh*tless Turtle - July 15, 2010 - Report this comment
As usual, FG read my mind re: fresh, clever switch on a much-done OS. TTTBF (Too true to be funny), but funny anyway. Thank goodness for the shell, or I'd never go anywhere! (looks down to text: 555 - HEY! WATCH IT, BUD!)
Kristof Robertson - July 15, 2010 - Report this comment
One of those "I can't believe this hasn't been done before" and "why didn't I think of that?" parodies...brilliant write, Guy. btw, I was in Liverpool last week on Ringo's birthday, and most of the Beatles related attractions were playing his songs...surreal to hear "Don't Pass Me BY" get more play than "Ticket To Ride". 555
Guy - July 15, 2010 - Report this comment
TT - Texting me 5's while driving? You were lucky this time. And it was probably very late as you indicated by announcing that you put in a lot of hours at work. Late, tired and inattentive to the task at hand. these things mix poorly while driving. Do be careful, please, for next time you may not be so fortunate, shell or no. I bet that other driver said what the text is wrong with that driver? =;-)

I didn't expect this much attention on this parody. I may have to consider this for a comp.

And FG reading your mind, hmmm, how does she do that? She is very clever, intelligent and witty. Maybe these qualities have something to do with that? Thanks for taking the time from a very long day to read and comment. It is much appreciated.

Kristof - Ringo's B-day played on the news here for several days. He really looks good for 70. Hard to believe that many years have gone by. I consider you most fortunate to see it live. And thanks for the accolades, my friend.

I haven't looked in on your latest stuff and a few others out here mainly because I DKTOS. I need to get time to listen to the OSes so I can relate to what is written.
AFW - July 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Capsules and highlights some of the many highway hazards out there...catchy..
TT - July 15, 2010 - Report this comment
I think those qualities of FG were why we hooked up quickly and worked so well together in the first place. Lots of other great writers here, but with FG/TT having similar styles, ways of thinking, and esp. sense of punnery, there was a lot of common thinking to start with, and of course it grew over the course of 90 parodies together.

FWIW, FG and TT both *independently* submitted the same OS, same title switch, same subject, same day, *before* we had started collabbing. (On the Henry Louis Gates incident -- no plug.) A sign from the Universe that this was a match - or mismatch, LOL - made in Heaven. Or somewhere else. ;-)
Guy - July 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Farce - I don't let them drive me crazy - I'd rather drive myself there. I don't trust their driving. Thanks buddy.

I watched that relationship develop since day one. You two do so think alike and the punnery is just over the top with both of you.
Abbott Skelding - August 09, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM: Nice work on a great OS! I'm a very cautious driver, so you won't have to worry about me here...555 more crazy drivers!
Matthias - August 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Big fan of this one Guy, like Kristof said this is one of those "Why didn't I think of that ideas". Well, I didn't think of it because I hardly do Beatles parodies but it's a good thing you did because it's very well done. One of your best.
Bilbopooh - August 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Aforementioned brother just got his very first car. I'll have to tell him to read this. Added bonus - he's one of the biggest Beatles fans I know. He's sure to dig it as much as I do!
Below Average Dave - August 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Great rhyming, though I got a tad confused (many lines seemed somewhat random--but that's probably just me) I hate people who text pictures while they are driving down the highway--that drives me nuts.
Peter Andersson - August 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Reminded me of this old joke:

-Mom, where are all those idiot drivers who got their licenses through mail order today?
-Son, they're only out when your dad's driving!
Mark Scotti - August 15, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM - Wonderful effort, Guy!! 555 more hours of driving lessons. I've told my shre of those...
Andria - August 17, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM July 2010- Voted once before, still excellent.
bobpiecheese - August 29, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Nice one, Guy. Makes a great compliment to my Beatles driving parody "Really Bad Drivers". 555 for you!
Red Ant - August 31, 2010 - Report this comment
Definitely a WDITOT (Why didnt I think of that) for the title sub. Excellent parody about bad drivers. Universally relateable topic that will withstand the test of time. Well done Guy.

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