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Song Parodies -> "How Crude"
Original Song Title:
"Hey Jude"
Original Performer:
The Beatles
Parody Song Title:
"How Crude"
Parody Written by:
Below Average Dave
The Lyrics
I'm at badave.com
(in the recording the 3 minutes of unnecessary outro "Hey Judes" will be cut to something more reasonable)
(in the recording the 3 minutes of unnecessary outro "Hey Judes" will be cut to something more reasonable)
How crude
Woven so bad
and the sad part
It's just a sweater
At Wal-Mart, watch what you put in your cart
May fall apart
the first day after
How rude,
Won't take it back
The chair cracked,
just one month later
Was told that, they could not take it back in
and it was then, I lost my temper
and then one time I had popped a vain,
Drove me insane
A dresser I bought broke down to splinters
Well by now, I feel like a fool
I was a tool
and then Sparks flew from my brand new printer
Wa-wa-wa-wa-wawawa waaaa
How crude! It's world renowned
Like a clown sir,
Bought their furniture
I'm shafted, I guess I'll head to K-Mart
Still falls apart,
please make stuff better
Waah
I've gotta pout, can't keep it in,
Cheap craps breakin'
They're making stuff that can't make it to home
Wouldn't you know
It's china who made crude
Cheap shoes,
whose soles fell off walking on snow covered side walks
Wa-wa-wa-wa-wawawa waaaa
Waahh
It's rude, this newest fad
Sell some bad stuff, and skimp on labor
The big shots will outsource ev-e-ry part
So check that cart or you will suffer
suffer, suffer, suffer, suffer, suffer NOOOOO
Waaah
Wa-wa-wa-wa-wawawa waaaa
How Crude. . . (Through end of overly long outro)
Woven so bad
and the sad part
It's just a sweater
At Wal-Mart, watch what you put in your cart
May fall apart
the first day after
How rude,
Won't take it back
The chair cracked,
just one month later
Was told that, they could not take it back in
and it was then, I lost my temper
and then one time I had popped a vain,
Drove me insane
A dresser I bought broke down to splinters
Well by now, I feel like a fool
I was a tool
and then Sparks flew from my brand new printer
Wa-wa-wa-wa-wawawa waaaa
How crude! It's world renowned
Like a clown sir,
Bought their furniture
I'm shafted, I guess I'll head to K-Mart
Still falls apart,
please make stuff better
Waah
I've gotta pout, can't keep it in,
Cheap craps breakin'
They're making stuff that can't make it to home
Wouldn't you know
It's china who made crude
Cheap shoes,
whose soles fell off walking on snow covered side walks
Wa-wa-wa-wa-wawawa waaaa
Waahh
It's rude, this newest fad
Sell some bad stuff, and skimp on labor
The big shots will outsource ev-e-ry part
So check that cart or you will suffer
suffer, suffer, suffer, suffer, suffer NOOOOO
Waaah
Wa-wa-wa-wa-wawawa waaaa
How Crude. . . (Through end of overly long outro)
This has been a Below Average Dave Production, All Rights Reserved.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 17 | 18 | 18 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
fun concept...fit the whiny tone of the OS well
Have you been to the 99c Store?
I shall donate $ 555-US for our Crude & Rude Economy, Sir !
As long as you keep the Judey-judey-judey-juedy!!! Bit it's fine with me that you cut down the ending of this song... This is The Beatles most epic song, but only by defalt because of the 3 minute ending.
he he he
K-Mart is Martha Mart now, so now it's slightly upscaler crap... ;-)
Artistry-34
I love it when writers blast Wal-Mart in parody. Excellent job here BAD! In South Texas they speak a local dialect of Spanish called Tex-Mex. People from Mexico as well as English speaking only people cannot understand them for the most part when they use it. I once heard Wal-Mart referred to as "Wally Martinez".
I love it when writers blast Wal-Mart in parody. Excellent job here BAD! In South Texas they speak a local dialect of Spanish called Tex-Mex. People from Mexico as well as English speaking only people cannot understand them for the most part when they use it. I once heard Wal-Mart referred to as "Wally Martinez".
(Artistry) Wal*Mart, eh? There's none of that here in Aussie, but I can deal. Wouldn't have figured out that this was about Wal*Mart from the title. Another great work here, Dave. 555, for sure.
(Artistry) Planned obsolescence is the name of the retail game. 555
One of the top 5 contenders
"Sell some bad stuff, and skimp on labor" - how true. I'd like to hear this recorded, but I know how busy you are right now.
(Artistry) Just return the unused portion of the product and we'll refund the unused portion of your money. Great idea, fun parody.
This is BRILLIANT! I'd right more, but the office chair I bought just fell apart...
Excellent job Dave, Awesome writing delivered to us at a discount!
(Artistry) Today at BAD-Mart, quality parodies at discount prices.
Hey Dave...I love the idea of bashing Wal-Mart.
Is it me...or should you have rhymed the word "sweater" in the 1st verse ?"Letter"..."Go-getter"..."Sweater"
You know I'm a fan...and a friend...I just was thrown from the start of this...
Is it me...or should you have rhymed the word "sweater" in the 1st verse ?"Letter"..."Go-getter"..."Sweater"
You know I'm a fan...and a friend...I just was thrown from the start of this...
This was awesome, another great addition to the awesome non stop Beatles parodies here
(ABC05H)
I commented in the Artistry competition and yes the home boys here in town still call it "Wally Martinez". So glad you picked one of the oldies that I am so fond of. Beatles songs are sometimes hard to peddle but this one makes me want to quit my job and get hired on as a greeter at the local "Wally Martinez". A brand new Wal-Mart was built a few miles from my residence. They have had the automatic check-outs in place since it opened over two years ago. Never have I seen them in operation. There seems to be some sort of technical gap associated with the shoppers in this store. I usually drive to another store about 5 miles further so I can use the auto-check-outs to avoid the long lines at checkout. Wonderfully done and well worth reading again.
I commented in the Artistry competition and yes the home boys here in town still call it "Wally Martinez". So glad you picked one of the oldies that I am so fond of. Beatles songs are sometimes hard to peddle but this one makes me want to quit my job and get hired on as a greeter at the local "Wally Martinez". A brand new Wal-Mart was built a few miles from my residence. They have had the automatic check-outs in place since it opened over two years ago. Never have I seen them in operation. There seems to be some sort of technical gap associated with the shoppers in this store. I usually drive to another store about 5 miles further so I can use the auto-check-outs to avoid the long lines at checkout. Wonderfully done and well worth reading again.
It doesn't need to be good if it's cheap, and Wal-Mart is known for being cheap, cause if it breaks you can just get more! Which is why I always shop at the Dollar Store, lol.
(ABC5) See above!
(ABC) it's kind of a bit loose, dave, and some of the lines seem like they haven't been reconsidered, but it's definitely ambitious by going for the laughs and then sending up cheap Chinese imports in the next stanza - not a bad effort though - 555
(ABC) Great concept; I agree totally. Quite funny. Smooth beginning, but then some of the pacing and syllable placement broke down. Can't get it repaired? Awww... $4.55.
P.S.: Guy: "Wally Martinez"? I haven't heard that one before! I've heard of "Waldemart" (after Voldemort). Where do you live? BTW, do you know they won't let Walmart come into NYC?
I forgot about this one. Still not about oil, but funny. See above.
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