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Song Parodies -> "You Can't Say That"

Original Song Title:

"You Can't Do That"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"You Can't Say That"

Parody Written by:

Bob Gomez

The Lyrics

I wrote this after visiting the Museum of Tolerance in L.A., and reading "The Language Police" article by Diane Ravitch in the Atlantic Monthly. Background vocals are in parentheses.
You best listen to me 'cause I'm talkin' to you
I'm of Jewish ancestry, don't call me a Jew
I'm a "Decline to State,"
(yes yes I'm a "Decline to State")
No Democrat
(not some commie pinko Democrat)
And like I told you befo', no!
You can't say that!

My vocal assertiveness does not mean I'm loud
My nose isn't big, I'm simply "nares-endowed"
You say the way I sing
(yes yes you say the way I sing)
Is wicked flat
(say the way I sing is wicked flat)
But like I told you befo', no!
You can't say that!

Stop oppressing meeee-ee
With words that show your bigotry
Incidentallyyyyy-y
My farts do not stink
As bad as you think, oh!

Best watch your language 'cause you're crossin' the line
I'm visually challenged, don't you dare say I'm blind
You want to put me down
(yes yes you wanna put me down)
And call me fat
(wanna put me down and call me fat)
But like I told you befo', no!
You can't say that!

Why can't you seeee-ee
Your lack of sensitivity
Compared to meee-ee
You're basically not
What I would call "hot"
No!

Best call a truce here if you want to stay friends
But I'll never tolerate your intoler-ance
I'll beat you bloody with
(yes yes I'll beat you to a pulp)
A baseball bat
(beat you senseless with a cricket bat)
'Cause like I told you befo', no!
You can't say that!
Bob Gomez 2003

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Know 1 can hear you dream - August 27, 2003 - Report this comment
I liked it. And as an ironic Star Trek Fan Im used to this kind of humor. Over at Sev Trek we call the Prime Directive the PC Directive. Check out this page about the phenomenon of pc-ness PHENOMENON, Im pretty sure youre gonna enjoy it. :-)
Know 1 can hear you dream - August 27, 2003 - Report this comment
Hmmm... right, HTML is being cut out, I remember now. Well, this works too: http://cartoons.sev.com.au/archivepage.php?cartoonid=f4
Rick D - October 09, 2003 - Report this comment
I visited the museum of tolerance---Couldn't wait to get the heck out of there---Continuing your rant, you can't call a spade a spade, can't have a chink in your armor, can't use Spic N' Span, can't enjoy a nip in the air...etc..

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