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Song Parodies -> "Ralph (Revised)"

Original Song Title:

"Help"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Ralph (Revised)"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

An inside look at eating disorders.

DISCLAIMER - If you become queasy easily stop now and do not read this parody. No one actually got sick writing this but reader beware!

For a Youtube video of a trailer from the Beatles movie "Help" click HERE

DKTOS? For a Youtube video of The Beatles performing "Help" click HERE


Ralph, I'm feelin' funny,
Ralph, not just any funny,
Ralph, you know I need some Tums.
Ral-al-al-al-alph!

When I have hunger, so much hunger I buffet,
I never eated anybody's helpings on their tray.
I stay at buffets long and I eat all that's procured,
How I dine,
Without resign, 'til I puke on their floors.

Ralphing in the can it won't stay down,
What I do regurgitate is looking brown,
Looks like pickled beets and some ground round.
And when I cease, cease ralphing...

And now my shirt is changed and they put out nice clean trays,
My indigestion weans, I'm famished, time to graze.
I can't eat now and then, small meal or soup du jour,
I just know I need to eat like there won't be food no more.

Ralphing all I can what won't stay down,
And I do not mean to nauseate the crowd,
Help me get my heaves up on the ground,
Until I cease, cease ralphing.

I ralphed a lunger such a lunger I must say,
I'd not excreted any runny ralph up quite this way,
I was amazed how long, it ran onto the floor.
I must dine,
Can't change my mind; I'm open for some more.

Ralphing you can scan that gagging sound,
Why I do regurgitate is quite profound,
Ralphing lets me eat another round.
Once I cease, cease, ralphing.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   16
 16
 16
 

User Comments

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AFW - April 30, 2008 - Report this comment
A lot of good gags in this
MasonR - April 30, 2008 - Report this comment
I think I'll have to purge this one from my memory! 555
alvin - April 30, 2008 - Report this comment
wonderfully descriptive and it fit the urgent tone of the OS well..i'm just wondering how "ralph" ever got to be slang for barfing, anyway...was there a guy named ralph famous for barfing or does the word "ralph" approximate the sound of one upchucking...think i'll google it
John Barry - April 30, 2008 - Report this comment
Heaving with laughter.
UnKnownVO - April 30, 2008 - Report this comment
. . . Sir this sounds somewhat "RomanEsque" or NeroEsque!
Ann Hammond - April 30, 2008 - Report this comment
he he
Peregrin - May 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Funny stuff, Guy, if not a tad icky! alvin, or is barfing slang for ralphing? Iroinically, where I live "Ralph" is a 'mens' magazine!
TJC - May 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Exquisitely, er excretiously funny!
Matthias - May 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Ewwwwwwwwwwww... I was really hoping that this was a Ralph Wiggum parody since that's you put a picture up as on the R-Round Entry Thread. I was thinking that it was going to be about this when I saw the tite, but I was hoping, hoping.... Oh well... I don't like gross parodies, but I'm sure the others will.
Meriadoc - May 02, 2008 - Report this comment
A paragon of barfness!
Max Power - May 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Puked out the 5ives
Invisible Boy - May 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Everyone enjoys a good barf parody and I'm no exception. So, I hurling 3 5s your way...sorry, I'll warn you next time.
Actually,in that tiny segment of my existence I call my "real life"...my middle name is "Ralph". When I signed-on here I just thought that "Invisible Ralph Boy" didn't sound quite right. Don't worry Guy...throughout my life no one has ever made fun of me for it.
bobpiecheese - May 13, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4-R) Absolutely top-notch, Guy. Spot-on pacing, abso-fudgin' hilarious - 555 for you!
stuart mcarthur - May 14, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) "What I do regurgitate is looking brown" was a perfect line Guy, and the syllable matching was a delight - in fact the whole thing was great - 555
Red Ant - May 14, 2008 - Report this comment
I know I harp on grammar a lot, but the quirks here "serve" to improve the humor (using buffet as a verb, and "eated": LOL). Excellent syllable matching, and this would make for a great recording. 555.
Below Average Dave - May 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Echo Red Ant big time, Gross is fine with me, my only problem is when people get graphic with it, which you did not do, this is how to do gross funny 101. . .Awesome job on a topic that is hard to be awesome with, particularly liked the heaves on the ground line. . .
Mikey Squirrel - May 14, 2008 - Report this comment
ABC- Seems there's always a Beatles parody 'coming up' in this contest. Very funny stuff, Guy.
Jack Wilson - May 15, 2008 - Report this comment
This was awesome, though I thought itd be about Ralph Wiggum 5s

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