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Song Parodies -> "I Crashed The Tour Bus"

Original Song Title:

"I Am The Walrus"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"I Crashed The Tour Bus"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

What are your options when you're a hard-working, hard-partying rock band who can't afford to fly to gigs? Hit the road, Jack.....
I've done speed and I've smoked weed
And I've just peed my pants and stained the leather
We've played a hun-dred gigs on the run
And still alive...
I'm driving

Cocaine on my cornflakes;
Waiting for the buzz to come
Destination, Pittsburgh; so it must be Tuesday
Man, we really owned Detroit
But now it's all gone wrong....

I'm off my head, man
Brick wall ahead, man!
I crashed the tour bus...
Woo-hoo, I'm screwed!

Groupies dressed to please men, kinky
Slinky groupies tease men as we go
See how they ride (like juicy little brides)
The guy who drums
I'm driving
I driiiive.....
I'm swerving
I sweeeerve....

Fairly maladjusted;
Tripping, on the edge, drug-fried
Anti-lockin' brakes, shite
Heavy traffic distress
In the back there's forty girls,
So my attention's down

I'm near a ledge, man
Drove through a hedge, man....
I crashed the tour bus!
Woo-hoo, I'm screwed!

Sitting, wrecked, in someone's garden
Waiting for the cops
When the coppers come, I'll be the man
Escorted to a local jail

Drank many kegs, man...
Can't feel my legs, man...
I crashed the tour bus!
Woo-hoo, I'm screwed!

Poppers*, uppers, downers, powder
Don't think I'll be out on bail real soon
I might as well play gigs in my cell
Got three-to-five
I'm crying...

Swayin' like Keef Richards
Snortin' up self-raising flour
Reminisce on Lennon, George the Hare Krishna
Man, I should've been a Beatle or a Rolling Stone

Doin' a stretch, man...
Feel like a wretch, man
I crashed the tour bus
Woo-hoo, I'm screwed!
Woo-hoo, I'm screwed
Who chewed my food?
Two dudes get rude...
* Poppers: Amyl Nitrate

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 23

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   22

User Comments

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Phil Alexander - August 16, 2007 - Report this comment
Even by your somewhat stratospheric standards, this is unbelievably good, Kristof. Great idea, amazingly well-executed.
Matthias - August 16, 2007 - Report this comment
Cocaine Cornflakes... Coming soon to your local grocery store, to bring out the punk rocker in you!
AFW - August 16, 2007 - Report this comment
A vividly descriptive and uproariously funny rocker adventure
Agrimorfee - August 16, 2007 - Report this comment
You the star man/Brings on the gags, man/ You are uproarious!...woo-woo, woo-woo! (romper stomper, the bus needs a jumper!...moolah, moolah, everybody needs some!...fadeout with dialogue from the movie "Roadie" starring Meatloaf....
alvin - August 16, 2007 - Report this comment
a masterpiece...among your best ever and that's saying something
Jack Wilson - August 16, 2007 - Report this comment
That was awesome!!! Love the OS, love the parody, I parodied this last Thanksgiving as "The Yams Are On Us"
Jason - August 16, 2007 - Report this comment
Why don't you try and do my job Mr K? Very well done 555.
John Barry - August 16, 2007 - Report this comment
Fantastic job on a tough one to parody, as I discovered when I attempted it.
Ravyn Rant - August 16, 2007 - Report this comment
Absolutely brilliant. Loved it! 555
Tommy Turtle - August 16, 2007 - Report this comment
This should be posted "On the cover of the Rolling Stone" -- paints a very different picture from Dr. Hook's OS!... oh, and I like my poppers with jalapeno. 555
Kristof Robertson - August 16, 2007 - Report this comment
Stratospheric? You're too kind, mate...but thanks anyway

Matthias: I actually prefer barbituate bagels for breakfast, but hey....cheers!

AFW: Thanks for the "uproarious", mate

Agri: WWould you believe it? You don't see an "uproarious" for weeks, then two come along at once! ;-) Thanks for providing an ending, dude.

Alvin: Your kind words never fail to bring a smile to my face

Jack: I'll just have to go and check it out now, won't I? ;-)

Jason: Not for all the ganga in Jamaica, buddy! Cheers

John: Yeah, this OS is a doozy. I wanted to try some JAB style syllable matching, while keeping the story somewhat coherent....which lead to big headaches. Thanks

Ravyn: Long time, no see! Gracias

TT: Thanks very much for the vote and comment. Obviously, you have a different sort of "poppers2 in the US; I'm afraid to ask. ;-)
Rex - August 16, 2007 - Report this comment
Autobiographical? Or biographical (Otto on The Simpsons perhaps)? Definitely hysterical!
Meriadoc - August 16, 2007 - Report this comment
I bet they were all wearing Tie Dye... ;-)
Peregrin - August 17, 2007 - Report this comment
Agreed, one of the best Kristof productions I have read :)
stuart mcarthur - August 17, 2007 - Report this comment
perfect that was - wow - using the OS's rhymes made it read as well as the OS - and how the hell did you get that title sub? (that's brilliant on its own) - and the way you managed to wangle the Beatles in there so you could legitimately use "Hare Krishna" without having to come up with syllable subs was devious and inspired - oh, and the last line is a classic - overall: C+ (j/k) - 555
Kristof Robertson - August 17, 2007 - Report this comment
Rex: Totally fictional, dude...but I like the idea of Otto-biographical :-)

M&P: Thanks hobbits!

Stu: Thanks, buddy. I now know why I don't often go for syllable-matching; it's darn hard! The OS line that gave me most problems was "dripping from a dead dog's eye"...30 minutes I puzzled over that one! Cheers
TJC - August 17, 2007 - Report this comment
I echo Phil's sentiments and Stu's analysis. (what's that notch above' top' called again?)
TT - August 17, 2007 - Report this comment
Junk-food restaurants have some sort of breaded, deep-fried cheese balls, called "poppers", and jalape┼ło-flavored poppers are poppular (lol), though not with moi -- was j/k. We have the amyl nitrate ones too, so I'm told.
Red Ant - August 17, 2007 - Report this comment
Never really liked the OS, that is, until now. Excellent rhyming throughout, very funny and story telling to boot. 5 vote for you! This needs to be recorded. - August 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Outstanding. Has anyone ever mentioned that you're good at this?
Red Ant - December 16, 2007 - Report this comment

I have re-read, man
And have I said that
You always awe us....

(....still can't figure out a "goo goo g'jube" sub =))
Phil Alexander - December 16, 2007 - Report this comment
Jack - howsabout "Stick 't on YouTube"?
Guy - December 20, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC4-I) Get help, Kristof, get help. You juice - you chooch - you booze you lose. Walk it off. Great subs. I like the BMT myself. Oh, wrong like of sub. Parody is still tasty - two bad you'll be doin' 5.
Invisible Boy - December 22, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC4-I)Where do I start to praise. Killer idea ! I think maybe you have spent some time on a tour bus. Thanks to you for using a worthy sub for "goo goo g'jube". I think what I like the best about your parodies are the choices you make regarding when you leave a word from the OS and when you insert a key substitution to further your ides and the humor. It's that "comedic timing" that after a point cannot be learned. Either you "got it or you don't". You got it.
bobpiecheese - December 23, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC4-I) This is your brain on drugs. This is your brain after reading a Kristof Robertson parody. Or is it the other way around? ;) 555!
Laurie Alexander - December 24, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC4-I)-Very very well done (not surprisingly).
stuart mcarthur - December 26, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC4) yeah that's just fantastic, Kristof - and I clearly noted that on my first read in my expansive comment above - it's so brilliant the way it recalls the OS the whole way through, let alone all the gags
Below Average Dave ( - December 26, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC4) ABC is getting more difficult than the friggin SOTM for me. . .
Agrimorfee - December 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC4) Still rompin' and stompin'.
Matthias - December 27, 2007 - Report this comment
As Nickleback has said..... "Hey! Hey! I Wanna Be A Rockstar!!!!" Great to revisit this one, it honestly has to be one of your best which really is saying something.
Cat - December 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) Wooooohhh...the colors. Are you sure you weren't with the Dead on that trip (literal/figurative?) Stellar job, Kris.

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