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Song Parodies -> "Another Bastard Spammer"

Original Song Title:

"Maxwell's Silver Hammer"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Another Bastard Spammer"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

I get mystical, spamming hypocritical emails to my home
Using up all of my bandwidth
Oh, uh oh, oh
Carp and criticize - increment your pen1s size - get a cheaper phone
Do you want an unsecured mortgage lo-oh-oh-oan
But as I zap the last one to go, in come even more...
Damn another bastard spammer has my email address
Damn another bastard spammer to cause yet more distress

I can't read them all - a veritable waterfall - hate the spamming biz
Wishing that I'd vis-it unpleasant
A real Niagara to advertise viag-a-ra - eMails in a flood
Blood pressure's so high I must not get so... uh uh oh
But as I hit delete on them all - a link clicked by mistake
Damn another bastard spammer's a pornographic site
Damn another bastard spammer has sent me loads more shite

Inbox: thirty-one messages - all dirty ones "Click for access here"
Gigabytes of animal pictures
Oh, uh oh, oh
Rose and Valerie naked in their gallery: all their pix are free
I don't want to see any more of tho-uh-oh-ose
But as I close my web browser down, what d'you think I find?
Damn another bastard spammer has sent me more email
Damn another bastard spammer should be sent off to jail

Bastard spammer!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   1
 4   2
 5   12

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Billy Florio - May 28, 2003 - Report this comment
"Rose and Vallerie naked in the gallary"...hahahahha........Awesome awesome job Phil!
Olvan The Terrible - May 28, 2003 - Report this comment
Bang Bang! One excellent parody there. Probably my favorite Beatles parody of all time.
Rice Cube - May 28, 2003 - Report this comment
Woah... :-)
Michael Pacholek - May 28, 2003 - Report this comment
The pitch, it's swung, and it's driven to deep right field! It is high! It is far! It is...GONE! A home run! This is the funniest song I've seen on this site in ages! If this song doesn't win weekly or even monthly awards, I'll know the votes were counted in Florida!
Peregrin - May 28, 2003 - Report this comment
Excellent philbo, really good!
Jeff Reuben - May 28, 2003 - Report this comment
Good stuff...very very good!
Phil - May 29, 2003 - Report this comment
Phew! What a reception... thank you for all the kind words :-) Must admit, I did enjoy writing this one...
Adam B. - June 06, 2003 - Report this comment
Phil, this song should give you Am I Right Icon status. Probably the best parody I've seen here. - June 20, 2003 - Report this comment
Happily adding to your perfect score. Favorite line: "Inbox: thirty-one messages - all dirty ones"
AMIRIGHT AWARDS NOMINEE - November 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Best Internet Parody
Becca - December 19, 2003 - Report this comment
Awesome parody, Phil! Very well written and paced. My favorite line would have to be "Carp and criticize - increment your penis size - get a cheaper phone." Again, awesome parody.
John Jenkins - March 29, 2004 - Report this comment
It's still unanimous - this is an incredibly good parody.
Johnny D - September 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow! 48 consecutive perfect 5-5-5 votes! Great parody, Philbo, but I don't want to be the one to reset the clock, as it were.... Here's a virtual 5-5-5.
Silver Power - September 03, 2004 - Report this comment
2nz - September 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Truly excellent. I could never come up with a good idea for this one. You nailed it Phil. "Inbox: thirty-one messages - all dirty ones" was inspired.
Ingeborg S. Nordén - September 29, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS but your pacing is usually dead-on, and the wording is both clever and funny. Three more fives from me!
Red Ant - September 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Though I DKTOS, funny and I agree with the sentiment. 555.

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