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Song Parodies -> "I Hereby Announce My Candidacy"

Original Song Title:

"Yesterday x 7"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"I Hereby Announce My Candidacy"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

I'm no seventh son of a seventh son of a stitch but it seams I've somehow summoned my seven slightly secerned into stand alone solitary songs on this subject for your subjective SOTM scrutiny. (Parts 1-7 were all originally posted during May).
Vote for me
There's no limit what I'll do for thee
Have a keg of beer's my policy
Or two or three, just vote for me

Vote for me
Every man will get an intern free
Every woman a pool boy trainee
Or two or three, just vote for me

If you tax too much you'll be free to bill Iran
And for payments due I will draft your Repo Man

Vote for me
For the upper class I'll peg the tee
For the homeless; a roof guarantee
Or two or three, just vote for me

If your TP's red, I'll clear out your haemorrhoids
Endless cloudless days'll tan you close to leatheroid

Vote for me
All my statesmanship's a parody
But that goes down with the bourgeoisie
So gather up and vote for me

(VOTERS:)
Mm mm... mm... mm... mMORE!

(ME:)
All Right! From the top again then!

Vote for me
I'll unclog your clogged up artery
And I'll cut down Michael Jackson's tree
All this and more, just vote for me

Vote for me
For the plumbers there'll be crack for free
For the postal; stamped stability
All this and more, just vote for me

Male enhancement pills will be free, if you just vote
(That one will be paid by per-click tax on remotes)

Vote for me
I will jerk up the economy
I'll be hands on bad pornography
All this and more, just vote for me

Hear me wildlife friends; I'll send pandas to your lawns
All your holy cows will be corporated fawns

Vote for me
I will outlaw Kmart queues for thee
Bring the moon down, set the monkeys free
So gather up and vote for me

(VOTERS:)
Mm mm... mm... mm... MORE!

(ME:)
All Right! From the top again then!

Vote for me
There's no end to my capacity
I'm pro-life, pro-choice, proactively
All this and more, just vote for me

Vote for me
I'll destroy the ring of power-ty
No more yellow cabs, just bravery
All this and more, just vote for me

I'll make donuts all pre-deductible to cops
And send Hillary Duff to work, in a sweat-shop

Vote for me
Get a leg up, bribes and mp3s
Where I banish kick-back factories
All this and more, just vote for me

For the comatosed I'll send vote-by-proxy aids
For this needy world I'm a Jack, of all the trades

Vote for me
I'm a master of diplomacy
"Send the French some Garlic-Frogleg Brie"
Now gather up and vote for me

(VOTERS:)
Mm mm... mm... MORE! MORE!

(ME:)
All Right! From the top again then!

Vote for me
I will play back crap on MTV
Bone that freemason cum'raderie
All this and more, just vote for me

Vote for me
I will rig your nestling's spellin' bee
Let him ace and nerds come fortythri
Po-ta-to-e, just vote for me

If you hesitate, I can send, the M.I.B
With some mutant freaks, to uplift, your E.E.G

Vote for me
I'll support a Utahn papacy
Werewolf cults and Wiccan lunacy
All this and more, just vote for me

How to pay for this you'll find out within due course
But as C.I.C I'll keep floggin' a dead horse

Vote for me
I'm as cool as Matrix (1, not 3)
Were I cooler; order autopsy
Now gather up and vote for me

(VOTERS:)
Mm mm... MORE! MORE! MORE!

(ME:)
All Right! From the top again then!

Vote for me
I'll cure SARS and AIDS and leprosy
I'll reverse your hysterectomy
Just gather up, and vote for me

Vote for me
I'll deport that Shannon Doherty
She's a threat to a community
Or two or three, just vote for me

She can cleanse a couch and take colour off a show
If you vote for me I'll remove her, quid pro quo

Vote for me
Get a heavy trucking license free
And a bitch who aced agility
Or two or three, just vote for me

Reps and Libs and Greens, for too long, have not been phat
They're as dated as hicks or Paris Hilton's twat

Vote for me
I'm no Starbucks coffee latte-ry
WYSIWYG is what you get from me
Must I say more, now vote for me!

(VOTERS:)
Mm MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE!

(ME:)
All Right! From the top again then!

Vote for me
I'll remove the tatts from Tommy Lee
And from Pammy; Hepatitis C
But not her Ds, so vote for me

Vote for me
I'll give Fab 5 colonoscopy
With the Hubble in entirety
And celery, so vote for me

My opponents blow, they're a steaming pile of dung
When they call me "ass" it's because I'm donkey hung

Vote for me
Get free pussy from the cattery
Perignon at every beanery
And cutlery, so vote for me

All these promises, you must ask, are they legit?
Hey Dude! Read my lips, would I lie, or you bespit?

Vote for me
I'm a klutz but I'm persistent, see
I don´t care if it's for champerty
Just help me win, and vote for me

(VOTERS:)
MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE!

(ME:)
All Right! From the top again then!

Vote for me
I'm the best since John F Kennedy
When it comes to demagoguery
An'dultery, so vote for me

Vote for me
I'm as hard as Sean "Bond" Connery
On my watch there'll be no World War 3
Just bobbery, so vote for me

If you vote for me you'll get anything you want
Sex, drugs, Rock & Roll, or my boring (wealthy) aunt

Vote for me
Get a square mile lunar property
Smoke some ganja, miss a deputy
Or two or three, just vote for me

I'll beat street punks up and use sigh-lencers on mimes
And on "Yesterday" paro-diiies; a tax on rhymes!

Vote for me
Get a million typists apery
Paparazzing my debauchery
All entrance free, just vote for me

Mm mm mm mm mm
© Peter Andersson.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 27

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   0
 1
 2
 
 4   3
 2
 1
 
 5   23
 23
 23
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - May 31, 2005 - Report this comment
UNCLE!
Phil Alexander - May 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Vote for you
Something that I sure am gonna do
But there's something that you can do, too
I think you've guessed: STFU

...I don't mean it quite that harshly, Peter, but I couldn't resist ;-) There are some wonderful lines in this, too many to quote individually.
Kat - May 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Pete, pardon my shouting, BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, DARN IT!
Red Ant - May 31, 2005 - Report this comment
You got the job. No skimming another vote out of me on this one though. PS- I KNEW you would never be happy with a tie on this song and KNEW you would make basically a VFM 8. ;-)
Agrimorfee - May 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Imaginative as it progressed into sheer surrealism. Pretty cool...a sheer contender for SOTM just for the audaciousness, you nut.
Dee Range - May 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Great project, Peter. Having missed most of them, I'm glad to see them all here together. Lots of great lines.555 x 7
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - June 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Johnny: As in Uncle Sam?

Phil: You know I’m a big fan of your political parodies and mocking so I would have been very surprised if you meant that literally. :-)

Kat: Why so upset and who are you?

Red Ant: This is not an 8 and it was your comment on 5 that gave me the idea to summon them up for SOTM.

Agrimorfee: ”Progressed into sheer surrealism” pretty much describes the month long writing process of it too.

Dee Range: That’s 3 885, right?
Dumb Ass Kid - June 08, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM: DKTOS
Agrimorfee - June 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM05) comments above. Dumb Ass Kid, please tell me you are kidding in your comment! :0
Tim Mayfield - June 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Quite a list of qualifications... 5's
Rick C - June 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM05) Guess I missed this the first time around. Sorry, Peter. Ya got three five votes this time though. Love the Tommy and Pammy lines (among others).
Red Ant - June 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Your still not scamming another vote out of me......here......;)
Charlie Decker - June 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Jeez, this is a monster, and it'll be tough to top in SOTM. Great one!
Adagio - June 14, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM05) Great! Promised everything to everybody, huh? :) 5's
Scathe - June 15, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) :-)
Spaff.com - June 24, 2005 - Report this comment
(UTAHN PAPACY:)
MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE!

I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. Honestly. I can't even begin to start quoting my favorite lines. This is classic.

And Dumb Ass Kid: I was a little surprised when you didn't know "When I'm 64" but am I really to believe that you don't know "Yesterday"? The Beatles' "Yesterday"?! The best-known song in the English language besides, maybe, "Happy Birthday to You"?!! Really?!!! Dude. Go out right this second and buy "THE BEATLES 1." I'm serious. RIGHT THIS SECOND.

Now then. Run for anything you want, Peter. Anything. You've got my vote.
John Jenkins - June 25, 2005 - Report this comment
What everybody else except DAK said. A lot of really great lines. But I don't think Shannon Doherty needs to be deported.
Johnny D - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) UNCLE! But a very good job! ;-)
Mikey Squirrel - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Wow. What can I say? I have to agree with others and say I'm glad you slammed on the brakes before entering overkill town :) Seriously (yea right) great job on managing to keep the rhymes a-comin'. Tri-Fives.
Arwen - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--major amounts of work went into this...and it's worth it. Great job, K1...=)
Stuart McArthur - June 29, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) - a mind-bogglingly detailed set of policies, Peter! - You got me with sending Hilary Duff to work in a sweat-shop - whoops, sorry Hilary-h8er - an epic effort
Jeff Reuben - June 30, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM: I'm not registered, sorry =) JK...well done (x7)!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 30, 2005 - Report this comment
"You haven't answered my question, senator. Where's the bathroom?"
Tremendous effort here, Peter, with lots of guffaws to be had. Sort of like when George W. Bush gives a speech... 555
2nz - July 01, 2005 - Report this comment
But will his filibuster work? That's an affirmative if I've anything to say about. And as the current acting president, methinks I do.
Kristof Robertson - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) A GARGANTUAN piece of work, and deserving of the plaudits it has recieved!!
MAY 2005 SONG OF THE MONTH BRONZE MEDAL - August 13, 2005 - Report this comment
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3009.0;id=7398;image
Agrimorfee - March 08, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTY 05) Another audacious classic. Joyce would kill for some of those portmanteau words and puns (sigh-lancers for mimes? coffee lattery, hee!)
Red Ant - March 10, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTY 2005) Had a great time re-reading this one; TMGLTM (I don't think I was familiar with that acronym when this was first posted). Very funny throughout, and this one is a personal favorite of mine due do some *slight* misunderstanding on VFM 5.
Claude Prez - March 24, 2006 - Report this comment
I woulda sworn I commented on this before; I know I voted and stuff. Anyway, very funny. The first two lines tell you everything you need to know about politics, and the rest is gravy. Hilarious gravy.
Spaff.com - March 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Jeez, I love this one, Peter. Reading through it makes me all giddy and giggly. And that's embarrassing when I'm in public. Definitely one of my faves. Mm… mm... MORE! MORE! MORE!
Jack Wilson - November 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Ive read this before this is HILARIOUS! 555!

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