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Song Parodies -> "Wooden; It Be Nice"

Original Song Title:

"Wouldn't It Be Nice?"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Beach Boys

Parody Song Title:

"Wooden; It Be Nice"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Avast ye landlubbers! Here be a Pirate Parody! And a tip o'me Pirate hat to Kristof for inspirin' me brain that lay beneath it...
Wooden; it be nice, I have a peg now
'cause me leg was severed at the knee
Aye, wooden; it be nice, I'll soon be sailing
With me matey's off into the sea

Aye, we'll rape and plunder, aye, and pillage
We'll kill every native in that village

Wood, aye, it be nice, soon I'll be standing
with me peg leg I'll just need one shoe
Aye, chewin' hardtack that's as tough as leather
Drunk on rum, aye, laughin' with me crew

Sailin' ships we'll stalk and then we'll plunder
Mock their Captain then keel-haul him under
Will he drown, I wonder?

Matey's, he will sink beneath the ocean waves, aye, he'll turn blue
Scurvy blaggard; he will kick and gasp for air 'til he be through
At sea he'll be buried
Aye, sharks, they be happy
Aye, thinkin' we be nice

We'll make his crew jump ship and then we'll sink it
The filthy vermin; they'll die in the drink then
I'll dance me a jig then

Me wooden leg be nice

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Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 30

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 2
 
 5   29
 29
 28
 

User Comments

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John Barry - December 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Really good, Paul, nice job.
alvin rhodes - December 21, 2004 - Report this comment
argghh matey...thar be a swashbucklin' good parody....and who doesn't like their swashes buckled every now and then...5s
Rrrrravyn Rrrrant - December 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Yarr! This be one fine piratin' parody. Let me pull some fives from my swag bag.
MasonR - December 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Avast, me hardy, yer' really hooked inter this one! A ho-ho-ho and a bottle o'5's.
Olvan The Terrible - December 21, 2004 - Report this comment
BWAH HA HA! I can just imagine the Sea Captain from "The Simpsons" singing this.
Adagio - December 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Really good parody, Paul.
Dee Range - December 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Shiver yer timbers with some 5's. Excellent!
Paul Robinson - December 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Arrgghh! Thanks, Matey's ~ ~ ~
mac - December 21, 2004 - Report this comment
ARRR HAR HAR!!!
John Jenkins - December 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I thought this was going to be about a UCLA basketball coach, but well done, Paul.
Phil Alexander - December 22, 2004 - Report this comment
I've got a "Wooden tits be nice" sketch on the drawing board from 2002 that you've just reminded me was there... this was a bit more original in concept, methinks. Nice one, Paul :-)
Kristof Robertson - December 22, 2004 - Report this comment
This be a mighty fine booty o' fun!! 555
Paul Robinson - December 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Mac/JJ/Phil/Kristof - Thanks ~ ~ ~ JJ - No, that would be "Wooden; HE be nice"...Phil, hmmm...thinking about your idea..."sliver" me timber!!...Kristof - as I mentioned above, your parody started me thinking about "Wood" - so this parody kind of "branched" off of that initial thought...
Kristof Robertson - December 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Happy to provide lumberesque inspiration!!
Ashkicksass - December 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Super!
Paul Robinson - December 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Ash!
Michael Pacholek - December 23, 2004 - Report this comment
This isn't about the old UCLA basketball coach?
Paul Robinson - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Ye speak of Johnny Wooden, do ye, Michael? Nay...t'was not a pirate, but a Bruin thru & thru...
Know 1 can hear you dream - January 06, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Speaking of pirates, did you know that Johnny Depp based his role as Captain Sparrow in "Pirates of the Caribean" on Keith Richards from the Rolling Stones and that Keith will now be playing Captain Sparrow's father in the upcoming sequel? "I can't get my wood in action" anyone?
Paul Robinson - January 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Know 1 - The Keith Richards part was news to me! Interesting...I knew Johnny Depp had based Capt. Sparrow on Keith, though - and a mighty fine job of it he did - I really liked that movie - especially Depp's work. Thanks.
Scathe - January 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(sotm) This was silly.
Rick D - January 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Just put one on here dedicated to you. And your wood.
Paul Robinson - January 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Scathe - Indeed it was...Thanks! Rick D - I'll have to take a look now....I haven't been around here too much of late...busy with new job and we're not allowed to use the InterNet for personal stuff except before & after work hours and lunch...(I usually like to eat some food during that time, so that pretty much eliminates that time period).... let's see, the 9th...that would be today's entry...cool...
Paul Robinson - January 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Rick - Well, unless I'm the "Gutter Guy" (and perhaps I well could be...)I'm thinking you posted something TODAY that will show up tomorrow...I love surprises, anyway...so I'll be looking in tomorrow. I just posted my first number in a week...dipping back into the 60's for a little tune that should be up on Monday morning as well...
Rick D - January 09, 2005 - Report this comment
No, it's tomorrow. I'll give you a hint. Don't be "Blue" about it.
Paul Robinson - January 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Rick - Do I sense a "Joni Mitchell" number about to make an "amiright" appearance here...?...now I'm REALLY curious...I'll be checking in tomorrow to see what it could be...
Agrimorfee - January 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Gives new meaning to the expression 'waking up with wood'. 555
Paul Robinson - January 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Agrimorfee - I guess that could be "double-wood" then...thanks!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - January 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Ye be entertainin'. ARR.
Paul Robinson - January 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank ye, Jake...
Spaff.com - January 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Something tells me to expect a Johnny DD parody with the same title but entirely different subject matter. (Can you pirate pirates?) Fave lines: "Will he drown, I wonder?" and "Me wooden leg be nice." Nice work, Matey.
Claude Prez - January 17, 2005 - Report this comment
So this isn't about the UCLA bas-- just kiddin' me hearty. I'll just parrot everyone else and say it be well done ARRR.
Paul Robinson - January 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Spaff - Arrgghh...matey - ye may just be right...Claude - Waaakkk! Pauly likes yer (humorous) cracks, sir...
Jeff Reuben - January 25, 2005 - Report this comment
And here I was just taking a pi-rat-es class for my well being and this pops up!
Chris Bodily TM - January 25, 2005 - Report this comment
No one told me this parody be rated ARRRRRGGGGHHH!!! Very clever, my lad, and may you be promoted to Captain for this. I wonder if you'll do a Star Trek parody next and make fun of another captain. Here be me fives to give to ya!
Paul Robinson - January 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Jeff - Aye, 'tis said keel-hauling a wussy Merchant Sea Captain or foppish British Admiral will build ye up...Chris...Actually, I do have some that deal with Star Trek & a few Captains. Capt. Kirk is dealt with in my parody of "The Wanderer" (can't remember the parody title right now) and also in "Captain's Kirk's Strange Crew" to Cream's "Strrange Brew". The current Star Trek, "Enterprise is parodied in a parody of the Red Hot Chili Peppers "This Is The Place", called "They're Lost In Space". Thanks!
Peregrin - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Arrgghh, ye lubber Paul! Wooden it be nice to get some fives! And pieces of eight! Good job.
Johnny D - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) ARRHH ARRHH ARRHH ARRHH ARRHH !
Arwen - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--Hilarious, Paul!!
Paul Robinson - January 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Per/JD/Arwen - Arrgghhh! Thanks, matey's...arhh...shiver me liver...
martha - January 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Paul I sat on a committee once that was drafting an international piracy treaty and at the first meeting several chaps came in cracking jokes about their wooden legs/ parrots/eye patches etc.....was very funny... it really gets people going... see above comments!!!......
Paul Robinson - January 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Aye, Martha...I'll be saying this now...I be planning yet another "Pirate" parody...I'll be running it up me mast here soon...
Stuart McArthur - January 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Pirates are just inherently funny aren't they - nice one Paul
Paul Robinson - January 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Yes, Stu...it must be all that yo-heave-ho-ing...or something...Thanks..
John Jenkins - January 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Paul, I just wanted to re-visit this parody and commend you for your Polly (wants a cracker)/Pauly (Pavillion) pun. And add that your parody and some of the other pirate parodies on amiright are certainly a tribute to Robert Louis Stevenson, who created Long John Silver, the prototype of the peg leg pirate.
2nz - January 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Yaaar a good parody writer says I, or I be a barnacle's uncle. Pillage that village, matey!!
Tim Mayfield - January 31, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Three wooden nickels!
Paul Robinson - January 31, 2005 - Report this comment
2nz & Tim - Thanks!
Meriadoc - January 31, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I thought it was going to be about a different appendage... ;-)
Kristof Robertson - February 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See previous comment...still grrreat!
Paul Robinson - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Mer - such a dirty, dirty mind...Kristof - thanks again...
Teensabre - February 05, 2005 - Report this comment
555, fantastic - I very much enjoyed it. Arrr!
Paul Robinson - February 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Teensabre - Thank ye, thank ye...Arrr! And perhaps ye will thank me more, for there be ANOTHER Pirate parody springing up, mayhaps at sunrise of the 'morrow (Thursday, Feb. 10th)... JJ - don't know how I missed ye compliment...but I do thank ye...surely I do...

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