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Song Parodies -> "Messed Up My Physique"

Original Song Title:

"Up On Cripple Creek"

Original Performer:

The Band

Parody Song Title:

"Messed Up My Physique"

Parody Written by:

Charlie Decker

The Lyrics

I was going over my old parodies, and I remembered how much fun I had writing my first ever parody submitted to this site, "Fatter." This song is the spiritual successor to the throne of "Fatter."
When I was a little younger
You know how I used to be?
Abs you could grate parmesean cheese on
Biceps strong as an oak tree
The girls would call me beefcake, or else hot stuff
Joy that I once knew
Now when I look in the mirror
I cannot believe it was true

Messed up my physique, I'm tubby
Hear those floorboards creak, I'm chubby
Always have to eat, I need some grub please
I broke my knees; got a scooter? I need one!

The food bug had stung me
To McDonalds I did go
But on the way there I bought hot dogs
Chips, soda and some fried dough
Got a supersized meal
But dropped it on the floor
Hell, I ate it up anyway
Then I ordered some more

Messed up my physique, I'm tubby
Hear those floorboards creak, I'm chubby
Always have to eat, I need some grub please
I worship gods of the sesame seed bun!

I dunk my bread in butter
And I wash it down with olive oil
I make Kirstie Alley look as skinny as
Lara Flynn Boyle
Now there's one thing in the whole wide world
I sure would like to see
That's the BK omlette sandwich
I think I'll have two or three

Messed up my physique, I'm tubby
Hear those floorboards creak, I'm chubby
Always have to eat, I need some grub please
I tip the scales at damn near a metric ton!

Well I'm lazier than the New York Knicks;
When I'm traveling close range
I drive, I'm scared If I walk I'll step
On a dollar, and make change
Now that just makes my heart get clogged
Now my arteries are hard
But I swear, between health and fatty food
I'll always choose my lard

Messed up my physique, I'm tubby
Hear those floorboards creak, I'm chubby
Always have to eat, I need some grub please
A heart disease? Hell, I've had a real good run

Now I can't fit on my sofa
Sweat when I answer the phone
I'm sick of my butt having
Its own area code
So I guess I'll call the lipo doctor
Tell him I'll be rolling in
But you you, deep down I'm kinda tempted
To eat my weight in snacks again!

Messed up my physique, I'm tubby
Hear those floorboards creak, I'm chubby
Always have to eat, I need some grub please
I'd love to eat a whole horse; do you see one?

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
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 5   9
 9
 9
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Barry - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Laughed my fat ass off.
Rex - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
A fine tribute to the American lifestyle.
Dee Range - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Hilarious. Great lines everywhere. Loved the "Sweat when I answer the phone" and the Kirstie Allie lines especially. Super high 5's
Charlie Decker - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, guys. Always appreciate the comments.
alvin rhodes - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
well paced, humorous and wondrous wordplay...excellent..5s plus
Johnny D - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
I resemble this parody far too much!
Airfarcewon - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
This is right up there, on the hilarious high chart...clever lines and a good fit...
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Gluttonous fun. Ask me if I KTOS and I'll lace all of your ding dongs with lettuce flavouring.
Charlie Decker - April 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Ah, the old "Generation Cringe" excuse again, eh, Luke?
Michael Pacholek - April 01, 2005 - Report this comment
The line about Kirstie and Lara Flynn made me laugh so hard I nearly coughed up my own lunch! A big fat five! A super-sized five!

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