Went down to Postal hell
Had a package I must send
Didn't trust my wrapping skill
I always mutilate and bend
Didn't know how much the thing weighed
Or what the rates might be
Thought I'd ask the professionals
Thought they'd work efficiently

(CHORUS)

It's the Post Office, now
They don't "wait" on me
It's the Post Office, now
And
And
And
You'd think they work
You'd think they work
You'd think they work for free

Got to the parking lot
What a lot of loons out there
Almost got rear-ended
Just like rush hour, I swear
Finally parked and fed the meter
Guessed an hour'd be enough
Opened up my car trunk
And went in with all my stuff

CHORUS

I stood with all the people
Must have been 'bout twenty strong
Had three windows open
Said I guess this won't take long
Then two of them said "closed" now
As the dudes went off to smoke
I stood there disbelieving
This must be some kind of joke

CHORUS

I stood for what seemed forever
Then remembered 'bout my 'Vette
I'd only used two quarters
And my time was up, I bet
Turned to someone right behind me
And asked if he'd save my spot
Said he'd do me that small favor
So I told him "Thanks a lot"

CHORUS

Put seven dollars in
Then went right back inside
Looked for my place-saver
But I saw not hair nor hide
Went back into the long line
Which was nearly thirty deep
Caught a glimpse of window clerks
Who seemed to be asleep

CHORUS

By the time I left the place
I had almost wet my jeans
There is one thing I have learned
What "going postal" means
Next time I send out something
I'm not going through that stress
Gonna get my cell phone
And call up FedEx/UPS