Boogers
Oh, mucus, mucus
I got a snotty nose
And I can't stop blowing it.
Mucus
Oh, snot and boogers
I got a stuffy nose
And I just keep picking it.

I'm so miserable I just want to stay in bed -
(I can't hear a word you said.)
I got some loud noises going thru my head -
My nose is a Rudolph red.

Doctor
Oh, Doctor, Doctor
What is this malady
To create this allergy?
(Doctor) Mucus
Oh, snot and boogers
Could be rhinitus
Or maybe sinusitis.

(Patient) I didn't kiss a guy
So I don't know what infected me.
(Doctor) Maybe you have fleas.
Maybe it's a pet -
Do you have a smelly cat?
(Patient) Heavens, no! Not my cat!

Oh, my nose is running like a faucet (mucus)
I got a painful feeling all across it (booger, booger)
My head feels like cement (yeah, full of snot)
Blowing more boogers from my - y nose
(Doctor) Drink some lemonade with honey
And add to that a lot of brandy
And chew on a garlic clove
That'll clear away the mucus.

Oh, boogers
Oh, mucus, mucus
I think I caught your cold
But it feels like influenza.

(Together) Oh, boogers (snot and boogers, snot and boogers)
Mucus, mucus
Let's take some Tamiflu
That's the only thing to do.