Hi cardinals! Howdy, Pope Ben
It's time to look at holy money, again
This year we're nearly on the skids:
Compensation paid to kids
[Down] To our last few billion quid

The bills, my friends, have hit the sky
And so the Church has to diversify
A new idea's begun to gel
To save everyone from Hell
Here is something we can sell:

We'll make cash, we'll raise funds selling "Jesus in a Bun"
It's the food that's been blessed
So it's better than the rest

So here's what I propose to do
To increase Vatican revenue
To get more out of Catholics
A precedent without conflicts
Read it in John (chapter six)

We need a miracle indeed:
Five thousand million mouths to feed
But with some help from all our nuns
Only need a couple o' tons
For a billion Jesus Buns

For your communi-un buy a "Jesus in a Bun"
It's the holiest taste
And it's made from reclaimed waste

Too many sales ideas besmirch
The Holy brand of this, our papal church
Focus groups say "don't sell pot"
Or uranium - too hot
Hol[e]y condoms? Maybe not

Won't sell cocaine, or heroin
Someone, somewhere said that it's a sin
No we'll not deal in that stuff
Though financially, it's tough
One masses' opiate is enough

Can't deal drugs, won't run guns, so we sell our Jesus buns
And together sing praise
For the holy cash we raise

We will not be outdone selling "Jesus in a Bun"
But the "Saint John the Bap"
Didn't sell: it tasted crap

We made cash! We had fun selling "Jesus in a Bun"
But the Jude Escargot
For some reason didn't go

In the Star! In the Sun! Ads for "Jesus in a Bun"
You can guess what sold most:
Father, Son on Holy Toast