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Song Parodies -> "Sixteen Ones"

Original Song Title:

"Sixteen Tons"

Original Performer:

Tennessee Ernie Ford

Parody Song Title:

"Sixteen Ones"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

This song title posted yesterday, 3/16/05. Master Geek, Phil Alexander pointed out in comments that my math was a bit flawed. After careful consideration I decided to rewrite the parody varying the choruses in an effort to correct the mathematical inconsistencies and bring it more in line with proper computer science disciplines. But when all else fails... Well you'll just have to read to the end to find out what we do when all else fails, of course Phil may have other alternatives. ;-)

A google is a one with a whole lot of O's,
A program's just an engine that manipulates those.
Zeros and ones on silicon,
Refined by geeks who hack 'til dawn.

You load sixteen ones what will transcribe?
Sixty five thousand plus five thirty five,
Computer starts callin' and modules flow,
You got two words in your regristry core.

Well they learned one mornin' that their Sun wasn't fine,
It picked up a viral that done clocked its behind.
It loaded sixteen ones in program control,
And the mass bus bled to the host console.

You load one more one add up the bits,
Sixty five thousand plus five thirty six,
Then computer gets crawly and modules slow,
No O's will poll in your memory store.

Like a burn out warning down a sizzlin' main,
Try and shoot trouble in code that is lame.
In a daze from a brain break, nothin' worked they were tryin',
Was some unknown viral knocked its clock offline.

Unload sixteen ones what will this fix?
Another bit holder of nothin' but nix.
Computer gets all stally 'cause it can't go,
You got no words in your regristry store.

If It's C you're runnin', and your system's fried,
And loggin' in didn't, cause loggin' in died.
One disk got burned and the other's killed,
When you write ones it could get you,
If you let ones fill.

You call Sistene nuns, why sit and fret?
You better try somethin', I'd pray for abet.
Saint Peter, you're so holy make this thing go,
Please fix that hole in my regristry store.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
you coulda fooled me...i was lucky to get Cs in get 5s
Phil Alexander - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Now that's brilliant, Guy - loved the varied choruses, especially the "Another bit holder of nothin' but nix." line. I'm glad I got all pedantic, now: this one's definitely better. :-)
Johnny D - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
some_parm = "And then a miracle occurs";
RunMysteriousFunction(some_parm, some_other_parm, return_code);
if (!(return_code))
printf("Your parody gets a vote of 555");
Guy - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Alvin - Don't feel bad, I always struggled with math myself as you can probably tell.

Phil - Thanks for being a pedantic commenter. I like it better myself.

JD I "C". Very nice programmed response. Thanks.
Adagio - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, I'll leave it to the brainiacs to determine which is better...they are both good.
Guy - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you Pat. We're having Pi tomorrow.
... - March 18, 2005 - Report this comment
IDKTOS but I thought it was a clever concept.
Guy - March 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you, Ellipsis.
Michael Pacholek - March 19, 2005 - Report this comment
1000101011. That's 555 in non-geek speak.
Bill Gates - February 13, 2015 - Report this comment
Byte Me.

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