Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Routine Funds"

Original Song Title:

"Sixteen Tons"

Original Performer:

Tennessee Ernie Ford

Parody Song Title:

"Routine Funds"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

Scum people play a hand that's made outta crud
A score made outta other's muscle and blood
Hustle and bluff and sin and loans
Get mine they speak and knock back the throng

She bought routine funds, what do you bet
She couldn't be colder and cheaper than sweat
Quaint cheater, gonna haul you, 'cause we all know
You planned your goal for that Imclone score

A plot borne one morning, Twas a plot so malign
They packed up a shuffle, and stocks did decline
They loaded sixteen funds from lumber to Dole
And the straw hat lady said, press the poll

She bought routine funds, what do you bet
She couldn't be colder and cheaper than sweat
Quaint cheater, gonna haul you, 'cause we all know
You planned your goal for that Imclone score

She got bored one mornin', and was bein' a pain
Gripin' and troubled 'bout such little gain
She was a-raisin' so much cane that ol' mama 'scion'
Such a high-toned woman just bust out a lyin'

She bought routine funds, what do you bet
She couldn't be colder and cheaper than sweat
Quaint cheater, gonna haul you, 'cause we all know
You planned your goal for that Imclone score

Shoulda seen it comin', no place to hide
A lotta men didn't, a lotta men lied
Now you wear iron, like others who steal
If your public don't a-get you, then the deft ones will

She bought routine funds, what do you bet
She couldn't be colder and cheaper than sweat
Quaint cheater, gonna haul you, 'cause we all know
You planned your goal for that Imclone score

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   2
 2
 2
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Phil Alexander - June 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Don't know the story behind this one, but I can guess - nicely told, very tight parody. If I could have given it a 6 for pacing, I would: "Hustle and bluff and sin and loans"... very good.
Guy DiRito - June 18, 2003 - Report this comment
This is about that charming and likable Martha Stewart. And thanks for the high fives, Phil.
Michael Pacholek - June 18, 2003 - Report this comment
At first, I thought this was a swipe at The Last Legitimate First Lady, for that stupid "Cattlegate" pseudoscandal, and, as Tennessee Ernie himself might have said, I was as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full o' rockin' chairs. But it turned out to be about the Wicked Witch of Westport. And you not only nailed her hide to the wall, you nailed the song! Bless yer little pea-pickin' heart!
Guy DiRito - June 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks - My dad would be proud. He was an old Pennsylvania coal miner and so were my grand fathers. Last legit 1st lady? You mean ol' W and Laura are living in sin?
Michael Pacholek - June 18, 2003 - Report this comment
They're living in the White House, which is the result of a great sin.
Guy DiRito - June 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Yeah, After what Clinton and company did in there it is no longer a sin free zone.
Claude Prez - June 18, 2003 - Report this comment
You guys are hilarious with the swipes here--Great job on the parody, Guy.
Royce Miller - June 19, 2003 - Report this comment
You write some pretty awesome stuff. I'm not sure how great her transgression is, I know some politicians who could very well be behind bars, in front of Martha Stewart, way in front. You know?
Guy DiRito - June 19, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks, Royce. You may be right about ol' Martha but her sweet demeanor and gracious character (NOT) off camera earns her some hits here.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/tennesseeernieford0.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 565