Need Chapstick - my lips are dry
They feel so fried, I even can't eat Jell-O
I must soak my bread, I suck my spread
Looks out of place - epidermis billows
Dryness adorning, kissers take warning
See my face come cracking like an ice floe

Blistered lips Chapstick can all soothe
Blemished lips need Chapstick - menthol too
All endeavors gre-ase 'em to chew

(Blistering guitar solo)

Bestow on none your lip action
When I lick more layer protection gone
Then still I'm wanting glop
Or grease, lips crust - please give me aloe

Blistered lips Chapstick can all soothe
In a pinch some Vaseline will do
Desp'rate to be pressing them on you

Eeew, bits so dry flew in my pie
Flew in my pie and fries

Eeew, bits so dry flew in my pie
Flew in my pie and fries

(Blistering guitar solo again)

Pitcher of Chapstick - mends 'em
Blistered lips Chapstick - mends 'em
Blistex or Chapstick - mends 'em

(fade)