Song Parodies -> I'm Tom Cruise, Babe

Original Song Title:	"I Got You Babe"
Original Performer:	Sonny and Cher

Parody Song Title:	"I'm Tom Cruise, Babe"
Parody Written by:	Kristof Robertson

Apparently, The Cruiser is dating stunning Sophie Vergara...how does he do it? Is it the fame, money, or nice hair that clinches the deal? And why does it always go wrong? Here's what I think...

When I was young and all alone
Thought I'd get chicks when I was fully grown
I met Mimi, bought built up shoes
Got wed, was happy ‘til she said “we're through”

Hey
I'm Tom Cruise, babe
I'm Tom Cruise, babe

A hot Aussie gal fuelled my desire
The platforms had to go 5 inches higher
“This is the one”- the second time round
But Nicole thought I was too close to the ground

Hey
I'm Tom Cruise, babe
I'm Tom Cruise, babe

I got molars: pearly white
Makes up formy lack of height
It's not much funby myself
I need someoneto reach the top shelf!

Penelope with Latin flame
This must be fate; we've got the same last name (almost..)
Alas, she wouldn't wear my ring
Said she was fed up with dwarf wrestling

Hey
I'm Tom Cruise, babe
I'm Tom Cruise, babe

I'm Tom Cruise from Days Of Thun-
Der, Tom Cruise: also Top Gun!
I'm Tom Cruise; Magnolia
I'm Tom Cruise; “big” movie star!
I'm Tom Cruise, ya wanna date?
I'm Tom Cruise, I'm five foot eight (really)
I'm Tom Cruise with handsome face
I don't take up too much space!

I'm Tom Cruise, babe
I'm Tom Cruise, babe
I'm Tom Cruise, babe
I'mTomCruise, babe

(La la, la la, la la, la la)

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John Jenkins - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment

Very good, Kristof, particularly the dwarf wrestling line.

Arwen - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment

For the record...I was DEVASTATED when Tom and Nicole broke up...luckily, your skills as a parodist helped me to laugh at the situation...; ) I agree with John..."dwarf wrestling" made me LOL! 5s, KR!

Stuart McArthur - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment

of course he became "our" Tom when dating Nicole - now he's "that bastard" - Aussies can turn on a sixpence - nice one Kristof - something very fake about Tom - 555

Guy - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment

I liked the last name line just above the wrestling. (almost )

alvin rhodes - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment

good thing for you he didn't keep his original last name of "mapother" funny stuff..5s

John Barry - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment

His true love is L. Ron Hubbard. Good job.

Michael Pacholek - February 25, 2005 - Report this comment

Let's see, the man had Mimi Rogers (they're real, and they're spectacular), Nicole Kidman (Aussie redhead, few rules, just right), and Penelope Cruz (muy caliente)... and he couldn't hang on to any of them? "Why can't I hang on to a woman?" He asks. You want answers? "I think I'm entitled!" You want answers? "I want the truth!" You can't HANDLE the truth!

Adagio - February 26, 2005 - Report this comment

Funny one, Kristof. I like how the platforms kept getting higher. (I really didn't know he was 5'8")

Charlie Decker - February 26, 2005 - Report this comment

Hahaha...this is fantastic! Of course, I've had a soft spot in my heart for the OS ever since I first saw Groundhog Day, my favorite movie of all time. 5s.

Leo Jay - March 26, 2005 - Report this comment

Hilarious! I had no idea TC was short-ish, but that element was used brilliantly. As already said, the dwarf wrestling bit was inspired. That and "I don't take up too much space..." ROTFLOL!

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Song Parodies -> I'm Tom Cruise, Babe

"I Got You Babe"

Sonny and Cher

"I'm Tom Cruise, Babe"

Kristof Robertson

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