Now if there's a smile on my face
It's only there cause I'm an alcoholic
But when it comes to out-drinking you
I'm just a novice out on a frolic

But don't let my admiration
Disguise my consternation
Cause we're into suds, Oh, we're gladder on suds
Now we're drunk, and drooling in our puds
Goin' down, disappearin' those Buds

Hell, there's some bad things know to man
Ours are in a 12-oz can
The beers goin' down, in the bars around town
Oh, slurp, buddy, buddy, oh burp, budyy, bbuddi

Now if I appear to be sober
It's only by comparison to you
And sonny, to the way I hide my high
To cover this buzz with a big loud "Screw you!"

And the party we're the life of
The reason we lost wife love
I don't need to think, oh I want a drink
Hide the hurt till we're brain dead
Hey buddy, you're one beer ahead

Hell, there's some bad things know to man
Ours are in a 12-oz can
The beers goin' down, in the bars around town
Oh, slurp, buddy, buddy, oh burp, budyy, bbuddiiiii

Just like Jackie Gleason did
I try to keep my shitface hid
Drinking in a room I lie
But then some day I might just die
The beers goin' down, in the bars around town
Oh, slurp, buddy, buddy, oh burp, budyy, bbuddiiiiieeeeeee