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Song Parodies -> "3 point 1 4 1 5 9"

Original Song Title:

"The Sound of Silence"

Original Performer:

Simon and Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"3 point 1 4 1 5 9"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

3 point 1 4 1 5 9
I've got that number on my mind

Because division of 3 leaves things
Cleft in need of pi fuzz-mending

That division
Was supplanted, and wise brains,

still remain,

cheerin' the rounds

of pi-ness ...



In math-test dreams I scrawled alone
Arrowed sheets of dotted cones

'neath the table, in my jean-pants,
I felt a caller make my cell phone dance

And my thighs were stabbed
By the flash of my cell phone's light

It lit so bright

Its brightness plowed,

through my pants ...



And on the cell phone screen I saw
Ten thousand answers, maybe more

Answers talking without speaking
Answers texting with proud glistening

Answers righting wrongs
that I had written there,

on questions where,

the answer called,

for pi-ness ...



"Cool," said I, "I did not know,
Pi is like an answer-hose!

Hear, wise nerds, now I'm bright like you!
Hey, wise scum, now I'm right like you!

Butt-head nerds,
my brilliant brain-drops swell!"

I chuckled,

to myself,

in silence ...



And the cell phone now displayed
To my ego's odd dismay

A text line flash out its warning
In the words that it was forming

And the line said,
"The words of The Muppets are Britain's sonic club ray balls" ...

... nonsensical scrawl ...

... then it said:

"Cheaters proud ... aren't pi-ous ... "

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 1
 
 4   0
 2
 1
 
 5   13
 12
 12
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Michael Pacholek - May 25, 2007 - Report this comment
I take it, Johnny, that this isn't the first time you've been betrayed by something throbbing inside your pants. But your parody talent had never betrayed you. Five extra-credit points. Well, 5.145873264573... (Unlike Sam Cooke, or whoever wrote "Wonderful World," I know what a slide rule is for.)
John Barry - May 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Long time no C, JD. Have some pives.
alvin - May 25, 2007 - Report this comment
i dig math parodies...easy as pi to give you 5s
Ann Hammond - May 25, 2007 - Report this comment
he he
Peregrin - May 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Fantastic :)
stuart mcarthur - May 26, 2007 - Report this comment
syllable-matched to the max here JD - and your hip and hep parodies give me great hap pi-ness (hmmm) - 555
Dee Range - May 26, 2007 - Report this comment
I saw a savant on 60 minutes who memorized pi to 20,000 places. Bet he can't write parodies like this. 5 pieces of pi for the effort.
AFW - May 26, 2007 - Report this comment
When I was in school, we were told pi was 3.1416...but I guess that's rounded off...Great job..parody readers will beat a math to your door..
Johnny D - May 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks Michael, JB, alvin, Ann, Pippin, Stu, Dee, and AFW!
Agrimorfee - June 21, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3) Coincidentally a companion piece to Cat's "50 Ways To Cheat At Testing" in this same contest. Damn, it's clever.
stuart mcarthur - July 02, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3#) whoa, I'm getting giddy from the air up here - the #s have been a blast - so clever JD - as an ex-Maths teacher, pi has fond (and horrible) memories for me - and for some reason 'Its brightness plowed, through my pants ...' made me LOL
The Charnstar - July 03, 2007 - Report this comment
ABC-# Coincidently, they were the only numbers of pi I used to know, now I know 3.1415926. Anyway, great stuff there, 5-5-5
Michael McVey - July 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Try this: http://www.escape.com/~paulg53/math/pi/8192.html Anyway, interesting concept. You should know, however, that pi r not squared, pi r round.
Arwen - July 03, 2007 - Report this comment
ABC...lots of fun, Johnny...=)
Red Ant - July 04, 2007 - Report this comment
#X3 - I second what Stu said about the syllable matching. Nice work here, JD: when it comes to preying on an unsuspecting OS, you are like a pi-thon! *scurries away after leaving horrible pun*
Kristof Robertson - July 04, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3#) Once again you've shown why we all miss having you around more often, JD. Nobody bakes Pi like you...555
Cat - July 04, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) Um...I don't get it. Sorry. But pi is a dead useful number!

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