Well I SAW that ball, navigating the sky - it didn't
look too long...
and not too high
I felt optimistic so I said "ooh gee,
that kick looks centimetre-perfect to me!"

It was an inch - pre - cise - torp - edo off the non-preferred, I
can't - de - cide - if - ever one of them's occurred, an
inch - pre - cise - torp - edo off the non-preferred, a
fine fine sight to see

Well the full back he bobbed
like a cork in the sea
as its path-he-unconvincingly-aspired to read
It missed his fist, by a wee flea's dick
proceeding then to
sail through the sticks

It was an inch - ex - act - torp - edo off the non-preferred, no-
one - can - snag - 'em.......'cept maybe for Jimmy Hird, an
inch - ex - act - torp - edo off the non-preferred, it
brought a smile to me

Well it
perfectly-sailed-through-the-goals-as-WE-all-gasped...
then it
hit-the-earth-upon-a-perfect patch of grass!
It bounced hard-and-upwards then it came - straight - down
a perfect one-point landing on the goal ump's crown

A "oneballshow"...torpedo...coming off the non-preferred, I
can't-recall...when-a-ball...similar to that occurred, a
"oneballshow"...torpedo...coming off the non-preferred, a
...lovely sight to see

and yes my bestbuddy Leigh...well he got it all down
on his Sony digicorder with that big Dolby Sound
then the AFL called...
said they wanted to see 'im
coz they wanna run his film
in their Footy Museum

A "oneballshow"...torpedo...coming off the non-preferred, I
never-saw...one-before...not even by Jimmy Hird, a
"oneballshow"...torpedo...coming off the non-preferred, it
...got a smile from me

Now I've since been to four - maybe five hundred games
I've never seen another kick exactly the same
There might be a perfect torpedo one day
but "off-the-non-preferred" will never happen again