I live out in Montana, about nine miles from town
And I sit at home looking out the window
Easy to think the world has stopped
Out there's some drunken guy, dressed up in spurs and chaps
And he screams "Wa-hoo! Yahoo!" as he's riding on my Bessie's back

I say, "Hey, you! Get off of my cow!"
Hey, you! Get off of my cow!
Hey, you! Get off of my cow!
Don't hang around, you drunken clown
Off my cow, buddy

The telephone is ringing
They say "Hi, police. What's the problem, sir?"
I say, "Well, this guy's riding my cow"
"He's been doing it for some time"
I say it's three P.M., been there since eight.
I think the truth might be that guy's braindead
Just cause he acts so weird, does he have
To prove he's out of his head

I say, "Hey, you! Get off of my cow!"
Hey, you! Get off of my cow!
Hey, you! Get off of my cow!
Don't hang around, you drunken clown
Off my cow, buddy

I was sick and tired, fed up with this
When the cops finally drove in from town
It's ususally quet and peaceful
'Cause there's nobody, not a soul around
I told the cops about the problem
And he stated to scream
As the police just started taking him away
That was the weirdest thing I've ever seen

I say, "Hey, you! Get off of my cow!"
Hey, you! Get off of my cow!
Hey, you! Get off of my cow!
Don't hang around, you drunken clown
Off my cow, buddy

I say, "Hey, you! Get off of my cow!"
Hey, you! Get off of my cow!
Hey, you! Get off of my cow!
Don't hang around, you drunken clown