Under my bum
A tack there when I sat down
Under my bum
I jumped six feet off that old ground

It's pokin' me
Inflicted on my derriere
Stuck in me, the pain has come
It's under my bum

It ain't no joke, bro

Under my bum
The stupid kid who I flunked today
Cause he was dumb
My job is to teach second grade

Now he is free, yes he is
The way this works is that I can't scold
He is free, that lousy scum
He's back with his mum

Ow, ow, this is not right

Under my bum
Right into these fat laden cheeks
Into my bum
It's the sorest, mmm, hurtin' for weeks

And when I pee
And when I walk, it's a broken two
Sides of meat, wish they were numb
Was under my bum
Ow

Under my bum
My thighs are afraid to go sit
Under my bum, still I
Now always look before I s**t

And when I pee
And when I walk, it's a broken two
Sides of meat, wish they were numb
Was under my bum
I'm uptight