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Song Parodies -> "Take It Back"

Original Song Title:

"Paint It Black"

Original Performer:

Rolling Stones

Parody Song Title:

"Take It Back"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

Rule 1: it's never my fault


I bought a toaster and I have to take it back
No matter what goes in, it comes out mostly black
I pull my crumpets out before they decompose
I have to scrape those crumpets till their darkness goes

I bought a barbecue - I have to take it back
No matter what it cooks, it ends up charcoal black
it burnt my bratwurst, and a tropical kebab
The fire brigade arrived while it was grilling crab

I look inside myself to see if I'm to blame
"Absolutely not!" I write on my insurance claim
If they believe me, I won't have to face the facts
I will continue to take faulty items back

No-one but me do these misfortunes happen to
I could not foresee these things happening to you
If I look hard enough there's someone else at fault
Accountability comes with a grain of salt

I bought an iron - now I have to take it back
It added to my shirt a triangle of black
When I stamped out the fire I wrecked my favourite boots
Without some compensation, someone's getting sued

Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm

I'm a victim - take it back, take it back
It's a dud, clear as mud
I won't take the blame, it's such a shame
I wanna take it, take it, take it, take it, take it, take it back
Yeah....

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 28

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 1
 
 4   1
 1
 0
 
 5   26
 27
 27
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
You can't take back these fives. Well, if you bribe Chucky, maybe...
John Barry - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Clever reworking of the original.
Ashkicksass - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
FABULOUS! Accountability Shcountability!
alvin rhodes - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
wonderfully witty...here's some fives...i will not take them back
Arwen - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
5s, Stuart...this is wonderful!
AFW - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent conversion...very good and funny topic...My bro-in-law used to be notorious for taking back...We even nicknamed him, "Take Back, Howard"
Guy - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Stuart - Great imagery here. Too many fav lines to metion. I bought a TV once that faded to black and the movie wasn't even over yet. It had 555 channels.
Stuart McArthur - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Johnny....thanks John......thanks fuschia (it's hard to get the "sch..." to work without a leading syllable isn't it? - I've had the same problem - not my fault though)....good on you alvin..... wonderful and wisterious, Arwen...very amusing AFW...thanks Guy, those TV things never work
Dee Range - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Stuart, you forgot rule 2; when it is my fault, see rule 1. 555, very funny!
Adagio - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Very funny! ummm...cooking lessons might help. ;-) j/k And you could wear black like Johhny Cash. 5's
Stuart McArthur - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
thanks Dee - I forgot to put that rule there, but the bastards at amIright should have KNOWN I wanted it there - that's it! I'm writing them a letter - thanks Adagio, and then I could sing "and it burns, burns, burns, this thing on fire, this thing on fire" :-)
Meriadoc - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Just make sure you don't burn the stu... good job!
Stuart McArthur - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
like it, Merry! - good one - ta for 5s
karen - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
I liked this one a lot.
Peregrin - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent Stu. Hey! You have my rule! Am I right in thinking it doesn't work for you either?
Stuart McArthur - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
thanks so much karen (is that Mr SkyPink?)

thanks Pippin - are you enquiring if I've learned from my mistakes? because absolutely not! I remain proudly blameless and bitter :-(
Cookie man - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Absolutely splendid! My rule of thumb when cooking is "When it's smoking it's cooking, when it's black it's done" Maybe you could send those products my way. :) Excellent work my friend!
Stuart McArthur - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
agreed, mr ecru, as long as you get there before it's entirely ashes, there'll still be some nutritional value. ;-)
Agrimorfee - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Murphy's Law in today's society, eh?
Stuart McArthur - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
not exactly Murphy's Law, agri - and where did you have the pacing problem?
Adagio - November 18, 2004 - Report this comment
:D, Stuart! ' thanks Adagio, and then I could sing "and it burns, burns, burns, this thing on fire, this thing on fire" :-)'
Stuart McArthur - December 11, 2004 - Report this comment
well, thankYOU, Adagio, for setting up the gag!!! :-)
Kristof Robertson - December 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Shit, man...I ain't ever coming to one of your barbies...brilliant; another McArthur Classic! 555
Stuart McArthur - December 29, 2004 - Report this comment
thanks Kristof - I liked this one too - probably should've been my SOTM entry :-)
Shan - February 09, 2005 - Report this comment
I thought it was hilarious.
Jeff Reuben - February 09, 2005 - Report this comment
I must have missed this one earlier, it's hilarious though! Good job, and sorry for the lateness.
Stuart McArthur - February 09, 2005 - Report this comment
thanks Shan and Jeff - it's great having oldies unearthed :)
Agrimorfee - December 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) see above. Stu, sorry I never responded to your query about pacing. I don't think I did judge a 4 there.
Adagio - December 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Already commented and voted. Good. : D
Red Ant - December 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABCT05) Funny stuff Stu. 555. I would suggest buying a watch or timer but I burnt a pizza the other night because while the brand-new timer we got was working and set to the correct cooking time, I forgot to hit start. At least I know my smoke alarm works!
Josh 2 - December 14, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC: D.A.M.N. I found a copy of this song n it wouldnt play. :'(. DKTOS soz
Rick C - December 17, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Damn pieces of crap! Doesn't anybody make quality merchandise any more? Wait a second, this parody is quality merchandise! 555
Scathe - December 19, 2005 - Report this comment
(T) Still funny after more than a year.
Johnny D - December 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above!
Kristof Robertson - December 23, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) One of your early classics. Bravo!
Dee Range - December 24, 2005 - Report this comment
(T) Great to read again...glad to see I'm not the only one who's always getting shafted! Superb pacing and funny as hell, Stu!
Larry - December 27, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS, funny
Arwen - December 27, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC--I, being a fabulously talented cook who never ever makes any mistakes, cannot relate to this. But I have a really good friend...named...um...Erwan...who can. Funny stuff, Stuart...
2nz - December 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Fire, heh heh... fire. Funny take and good use of the original, Stu. That's how you handle insurance claims.
Jeff Reuben - December 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(T) See above, and still good!
Rorschach - November 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Excellent Job. Well Done!
MacaroniMan - September 03, 2011 - Report this comment
Witty rhyming, good job. I'm writing a parody of this about Obama, so... probably can't submit it here

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