Tailor-made from a tent
Can't count the money spent
Such work to walk around
I can't breathe when I sit down
And when I pass them, women stare
Cause I'm prob'ly their worst nightmare
I'm a man can't fit in blue jeans
King of wide-load

Lunchtime is never fun
Cause that's when I have to run
Out to Velvet Viking
So I get double helpings
Can't go to all-you-can-eat place
Been banned from their lunch buffets
And this man can't fit in blue jeans
King of wide-load

I broke every button off these old blue jeans
Stretched all the linings, ripped all of the seams
And every fiber's been pushed to the limit
And it's such a wonder that I can still fit in it

My clothes,
Custom made from a tent
Must be what Buddha meant
Just sit don't walk around
But can't breathe so must lay down
I need to make another pair
But I don't have much cloth to spare
A real man can't fit in blue jeans
King of wide-load