(long instrumental opening)

Slings and arrows waiting for you, Mark.
You ran one step ahead
in this five-days-absent dance.

With Argentinian lady you're obsessed
with love's hot-fevered iron
that you felt beneath your pants.

Bad actor, Mark, your future's looking dark.
Your approval rating going down.
Someone is a Governor insane.
I don't think that you can fake it
'cause you went so far to shake it
and you'll never work in politics again!
Oh no!

I recall the e-mails, what a mess
flowing like a wave
from the ThinkPad on your knees.

A birdbrain, you're so crazy, took a chance.
Left your career so checkered.
Sanford, please!

Bad actor, Mark, your future's looking dark.
Your approval rating going down.
Someone is a Governor insane.
I don't think that you can fake it
'cause you went so far to shake it
and you'll never work in politics again!
Oh no!

(short instrumental break)

There will be excuse from G.O.P.
for they will... make it.
There will be some more dishonesty.
They'll always fake it.
He will drink the wine while it is warm
beneath an Argentina beach's sun.
And after all his love-slathered lies
oh, after all his love-slathered lies
he'll still be a bum.

He won't get to shake the Chief Justice's hand
because he... blew it.
He got votes with Christian-sounding lies
and he abused it.
He could not control his bad desire
and his passion flowed like rivers through the sky.
And after all his love-slathered lies
oh, after all his love-slathered lies
Republicans, I ask you...

Can you defend this guy?

(long, long instrumental break
that builds and builds and builds and builds)

Bad actor, Mark, your future's looking dark!
Your approval rating going down!
Someone is a Governor insane!
I don't think that you can fake it!
'Cause you went so far to shake it!
And you'll never work in politics again!
Oh no!
Oh no!

(Minority Leader John Boehner)
No!
(Party Chairman Michael Steele)
No!
(Rush Limbaugh)
No!
(Glenn Beck)
No!
(Republicans everywhere)
Noooooooooooooooo!