(long instrumental opening)

Spring training is waiting for us, girl.
Our hopes they ran ahead
of our team's realistic chance.

Between the bases runners hit their crest
but without enough dirt
on their polyester pants.

My old ballpark is quiet in the dark.
The postseason bunting taken down.

Someone left the runners on the base.
I don't think that I can take it
'cause my players couldn't fake it
and we'll never get back in the pennant race!
Oh no!

(short instrumental break)

I recall the split-fingered fastball
breaking 'cross the plate
as I'm swinging from my knees.

The fans like frenzied crazies in the stands
as the ball it crossed the fences
in the breeze.

My old ballpark is quiet in the dark.
The postseason bunting taken down.

Someone left the runners on the base.
I don't think that I can take it
'cause my players couldn't fake it
and we'll never get back in the pennant race!
Oh no!

(short instrumental break)

There will be another year for me
for I will... play it.
There will be a sacrifice for me
for I will pay it.
I will drink champagne while it is cold
and ticker-tape will fly around me in the sun.
And after all the games of my career
oh, after all the games of my career
we will be number one.

I will take my bat into my hands
and I will... swing it.
I will have victory in my eyes
and I will bring it.
I will take the field with much desire
and the baseballs soar like rockets to the sky!
And after all the games of my career
oh, after all the games of my career
I'll remember this loss...

and I will know why!

(long, long, overly dramatic instrumental break
that builds and builds and builds and builds...)

My old ballpark is quiet in the dark!
The postseason bunting taken down!

Someone left the runners on the base!
I don't think that I can take it!
'Cause my players couldn't fake it
and we'll never get back in the pennant race!
Oh no!
Oh no!

No!
No!
No!
No!
Noooooooooooooooo!