When you cross over the Tweed River at Berwick
Everywhere you go’s - doon-toon
When you toss cabers and the music’s Proclaimers
See the heather grow - doon-toon
Just tell Groundskeeper Willie that his accent is a bitty
Little hard to inter-pret - he’ll utter something witty
Och-aye, the nooo

You’ll find kilts and sporrons there
They’re well aware of past troubles, so English: beware!
Long ‘go doon-toon, Bannockburn: famous war
Doon-toon - Edward’s side put to sword
Doon-toon - everything's Robert the Bruce!

Tartan-clad fitba fans at Hampden abound there
Where there’s often snow - doon-toon
World Cup’s our goal but when we make it, we blow, do
Four years: more morose - doon-toon
Envision, do, the swimmin’ of a loch-bound Nessie roamin’
A wee beastie in the burn - they fought wee Caledonians
(Romans met end…)

For fighting’s much fun, ye ken
Just go to Rangers v Celtic, wear green down blue end
Wander doon-toon, check out the kirks tonight
Doon-toon - Ol’ Rabby Burns recite
Doon-toon - haggis is food-ish blight - wow!

Doon-toon
Doon-toon

Doon-toon
Doon-toon

And Connery and Connolly
Are hard to understand too
Someone who in tartans viewed
(that’s garbed in kirtles plaid) do
Mouth puzzling sounds

Brogue speaking rogues, we are, yeah!
We should go beat up some Sassenachs, to show them we care
So go doon-toon, shrill is the bagpipe’s call
Doon-toon - Kintyre-ish mull recalled
Doon-toon - Hadrian’s Wall’s un-renewed

Doon-toon, doon-toon, doon-toon, doon-toon...