You snuffle aloud in the midst of this crowd
Yet, you don’t see what hankie is there for
You hawk out a sneeze, then there’s bogers on me
‘Cause the season has got pollen airborne...

Those protoplasmic missiles aim unsure
Breaks out your snout in sniffley nosely snore

Don't sneeze in the subway, darling
Don't stand and blow out your brains
Got people in subway snarling
The phlegm is long
Project’les hurling by
Coughing’s wrong
Germs woebetide me again

The sudden departs of those secreted darts
Causes spurts when your membrane’s inflam-ed
You don’t heed what’s flew, when you board with that flu
And your histamines have not abated

‘Sundheit means nothing when o’er me, you blow
Olfact’ry nerve, its switch is stuck on go

Don't sneeze in the subway, darling
De-mand that your cold’s restrained
From deep in your airways, darling
Politeness gone
Commit some mucuside
All day long
Now you're achoo-ing again

Don't sneeze in the subway, darling
Nose gland’s just like pouring rain
It really is quite appalling
A blight, so wrong
So let your nose subside
Head on home
Lest you beslime me again...