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Song Parodies -> "When A Man Loves A Walrus"

Original Song Title:

"When A Man Loves A Woman"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Percy Sledge

Parody Song Title:

"When A Man Loves A Walrus"

Parody Written by:

Bob Gomez

The Lyrics

When a man loves a walrus
Can't keep his mind on nothing else
He'd trade the world
For the good thing he's found

If she is fat, he can't see it
Praise her to the skies
Do a double take and say
"Have you dropped some pounds?"

When a man loves a walrus
He'll never make her shave
Sayin' he likes the way
Her whiskers shine

He'd give up all of his comforts
And sleep out on the sand
Even claim that he loves
The smell of brine

(Bridge)
Well, this man loves a walrus
Your whims control my every check
Each time I call up
For pizza-to-go:
"Double
Anchovies, okay!-----"

When a man loves a walrus
He don't mind her breath
Mackerel in his pants
To draw her near

If she is smelly, rank and putrid
Certain time of the year
He'll say, "Babe,
Come on over here...."

When a man loves a walrus
He'll take her on a cruise
As she swims behind
He'll toss sardines

If she's distracted by TV
WWF
He don't pay no mind
If the couch turns green

When a man loves a walrus
I know exactly how he feels
'Cause baby, baby,
I'm a man.....

When a man loves a walrus
When a man loves a walrus
When a man loves a walrus
When a man loves a walrus
When a man loves a walrus
When a man loves a walrus.....
İBob "Under The Tuskin' Sun" Gomez 2004 Stop right there. I already
thought of it: "She's A Walrus," "She's Always A Walrus To Me,"
"American Walrus," "Rainy Day Walrus," "I'm Every Walrus," "No
Walrus, No Cry," "I Am Walrus." My wife said, "You make me feel like
a natural walrus."

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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User Comments

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Johnny D - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow, I'm glad I snagged "Walrus Intrusion" for The Temptations' "Ball of Confusion" while I had the chance!

This is too funny, Bob! 5's

This parody of Bob's is an excellent example of how one can keep original lines from the original song and exploit them in one's parody to force the original song to parody itself ! Well done!
Paul Wooten - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Hilarious!!
alvin rhodes - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
good job.....goo goo ga joob
The Invincible - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
This is probably the best walrus-related parody I've ever read. Look forward to the rest of the series: 5-5-5
Bob Gomez - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Just to clarify, from the Alaska Science Center: Walrus feed mainly on clams, but they also eat a wide variety of other benthic (sea-floor) invertebrates, such as crabs, sea cucumbers, snails, and amphipods.  The walrus diet is largely dependent upon invertebrates of the continental shelf in depths less than about 100 m.  Soft-bodied prey are swallowed whole, while the fleshy parts of mollusks are removed from their shells by suction and the shells are discarded.  Walruses forage by rooting through bottom sediments.  The muzzle is kept close to the bottom, and the tusks are held parallel to the sea floor.  The two fore-flippers are used for lateral stability, and the hind flippers for propulsion.  Prey is located with the sensitive mystacial vibrissae, and is then uncovered by digging with the snout, pig fashion, or excavating with jets of water. An adult walrus consumes about 5% of their body weight each day.  Such vigorous foraging resuspends vast quantities of sediment in the water column: equivalent to over 18 times the annual sediment discharge of the Yukon River.  Although information on the foraging behavior of female walruses is limited, studies on the foraging behavior of adult males have shown to make foraging trips out to sea that last up to 10 days, and are followed by up to three days resting at their haul-out site.  While on a foraging trip, they spend about 60% of their time diving.  Foraging dives last about seven minutes and are separated by a 1-2 minute rest period at the surface.  Some walruses may supplement their diets with fish or seals, while others have been known to scavenge the carcasses of cetaceans. d;:^)
David Chrenko - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Tusk, tusk, tusk, that's a sea of woe, Bob. But don't blubber about it - you get Foamy Fives from me.
Claude Prez - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Man! I feel like a walrus
Bob Gomez - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Claude, you're more than a walrus to me. d;:^)
Whitney Houston - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
I--UHYIIII---UHYIIIIIIIII-----WILL WALRUS LOVE YOU-OOO-OOOOOOOO
Bob Dylan - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Whitney, you sang that just like a walrus.
Jack Wilson - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Too funny, Bob!
Jan Unwin - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
How about "Walrus in the Sea With Mollusks"? 555 clams
Bob Gomez - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Picture yourself somewhere west of Alaska/ Where benthic sea creatures/ Abound and they thrive/ Something disturbs you, you turn to address them/ A walrus with big hungry eyes.........d;:^)
Melhi - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Pretty good for a bottom feeder. ;D Nice job.
Jared - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Shouldn't this be under 90s and Michael Bolton? Relax, I'm kidding! Great song, all fives!
Mari D - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
This one made me laugh. Needed it.

"Another Brick in the Walrus"? "She is the Walrus"? "Outside Walrus Blues"? Say hi to Quinn the Eskimo!
Jeff Reuben - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Good stuff here...very good!
Meriadoc - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Stay tuned for Bob's tell all book: "Everything You Wanted to Know about Walruses but Were Afraid to Ask."
Bob Gomez - March 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah, I'll call it "Men Are From Mars, Walrus Are From Uranus." d;:^)
Johnny D - March 09, 2004 - Report this comment
And of course there's the new reality-challenge show that's the sequel to "Fear Factor" ---- "Walrus Factor". Quickly to be followed by Bravo's newest extreme-makeover show, "Queer Eye For The Walrus".
Jack Wilson - March 09, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL! Johnny, now youve given me thmage of the Fab Five making over a Walrus And then after that "Walrus Idol" ( yes Simon's a judge, the other two are still Randy and Paula ) My Big Fat Obnoxious Walrus Fiance Walrus and Grace 8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Walrus According to Walrus Walrus and the City Walrus's Company That Walrus Show Saturday Night Walrus and more! on WTV ( Walrus Television )
Bob Gomez - March 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Man overboard! d;:^)
Michael Pacholek - March 09, 2004 - Report this comment
All in all, you're just another rus in the wal.
Michael Pacholek - March 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Man overboard? Are they gonna win the Premier League again?
The Eggman - March 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey! What about me? Don"t I deserve some love ,too?
Bob Gomez - March 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Sure, dude, but the yolk's on you. d;:^)
The Eggman - March 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Good one,Bob! You know,I half-expected this song to have been made by Seal. (See my comment under "All you need is thugs" I'm ow ow ow!) ;^)
The Eggman - March 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh,by the way,how about "More than a walrus"?
Jan Unwin - March 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Or...Black Magic Walrus?
Bob Gomez - March 14, 2004 - Report this comment
The possibilities are bottomless, I guess. d;:^)
2nz - March 15, 2004 - Report this comment
'Walrus in Red', 'Sgt. Shrimpboat's Lonely Walrus Band', 'Walrus Man' to Ozzy's 'Ironman'. Yeah, I guess it is bottomless, huh? Good job on this one, Bob.
Johnny D - March 15, 2004 - Report this comment
How about "Venus" by Shocking Blue (or by Bananarama):

The mammal on the mountaintop
Stinkin' like low tide in Maine
The summit of blubber and chub
And Walrus is his name
He's got it
Yeah baby, he's got it
Well
I'm a Walrus
I've got tall tusks
And munch on mollusks
Bob Gomez - March 16, 2004 - Report this comment
That's not it/No, Johnny, that's not it/Well, curb your genius/Let's retire/This lame satire.....Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah..........d;:^)
The Eggman - March 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Whoa! Can I give Johnny D's last response three 5's ? It,s like ,all of a sudden ,there's a two-drink mininum on this thread !
Johnny D - March 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Make that a four-drink minimum....

How about "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" by Iron Butterfly?

In-A-Gadda-Da-Walrus, honey!
Don't you know plankton's my food?
In-A-Gadda-Da-Walrus, baby!
Love to slurp that inverterbrate goo!

Oh, won't you hunt with me
And rake the sand?

Oh, won't you hunt with me
And chomp some clams?

Please rake my sand!
Jared - March 19, 2004 - Report this comment
ENOUGH WITH THE WALRUSES ALREADY!!!!!
Chef Ah So - March 19, 2004 - Report this comment
What wrong, Jared, you no like a-walrus? They ah endagered species, they ah vewy important to envir...enver...nature. They ah major part of ecorogical system, and they make mighty fine barbecue.
Tim Hall - March 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Q: What is a walrus's favorite Fleetwood Mac song? A: TUSK!
Jan Unwin - March 19, 2004 - Report this comment
And his least favorite Michael Jackson song would be Ebony and Ivory. Oh! Oh! And his least favorite city in Alabama would be Tuscaloosa.
Bob Gomez - March 20, 2004 - Report this comment
No, actually, that would be what his Italian dentist would say. Over and snout, all you bottom feeders! d;:^)
The Eggman - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
I've just submitted my first parody,"More than a walrus"to AmIright . I hope it's at least half as funny as this parody!

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