(Spoken)
I remember when I was a little girl, and there was candy
I'll never forget my fifth birthday when I opened that little wrapper
And saw Popeye's head on a stick. I discovered that when I pushed that
Double chin back a rectangular piece of flavored heaven would pop out.
And when it was all gone I said to myself, "Is that all there is to a sailor?"

(Sung)
Is that all the Pez? Is that all the Pez?
Is that all the Pez, my friend
From the dispenser?
Lets break out the Flicks and eat them all
Is that all the Pez?

And when I was twelve years old, I went around the neighborhood for Halloween.
I'll never forget the look on my mother's face as she looked at my haul.
There were lollypops and candy corns and chocolate kisses and jawbreakers
But I had the sinking feeling that something was missing
And when it was all gone I said to myself "Is that all there is to this glutfest?"

Is that all the Pez? Is that all the Pez?
Is that all the Pez, my friend?
We have no refills
Lets break out in zits and pop them all
Is that all the Pez?

And then I grew up and started my collection. I had every Pez dispenser ever made.
I'd hit every Walmart and Rite-aid to find a new Scooby-doo or Stimpy
I'd hit thrift shops and city dumps and send away for them on the internet
I'd have to move several times to make room for my ever-growing obsession
And when I'd search in vain for a new one, I'd say "Is that all there is to hobbies?"

Is that all the Pez? Is that all the Pez?
Is that all the Pez, my friend
From all the junk bins?
Lets break out the plate of M&M's
Is that all the Pez?

I know what you are saying to yourselves, if that's the way she feels,
why doesn't she see a shrink? Oh no, not me. I'm not insane.
I'm as normal as we are. Watch out for the vampire right behind you.
Ants Ants, they're on me. Oh, they're only freckles.
And when that final moment comes and I've savored my last Daffy Duck Grape, I'll be muttering...

Is that all the Pez? Is that all the Pez?
Is that all the Pez, my friend
That's my self image?
Lets break out of here and go back home
Is that all the Pez?