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Song Parodies -> "I Am The Rock"

Original Song Title:

"I Am a Rock"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"I Am The Rock"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

For the Arcade Junkie.
A wrestler's day, it is time for some dismember.
I stand alone.
You are gonna suffer, you're gonna whine and moan.
I'm the people's champ and I'm a chief Samoan.
I am The Rock! I am the champion!

I am strong, a wrestler big and mighty
that no man can defeat.
I have the people's friendship.
I cause the bad guys pain.
It's Steve Austin-type jabronies I disdain.
I am The Rock! I am the champion!

Don't talk of loss.
Well, I've heard the word before.
I played ball at Miami.
I make some action movies.
Who cares about the script?
The fans know if I'm in it, they're not gypped!
I am The Rock! I am the champion!

I have my looks and the people's elbow smashing!
I am still the ring's greatest charmer!
Standing in the ring
I can handle anything.
Do you smell what The Rock is now cooking?
I am The Rock! I am the champion!

And The Rock brings the pain.
And the other wrestler cries.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.3
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.3

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   1

User Comments

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Johnny D - December 12, 2003 - Report this comment
And the Sox lose again

And the Yankees never cry
Jess Cully - December 12, 2003 - Report this comment
Layin' the triple five down!
Michael Pacholek - December 12, 2003 - Report this comment
Well, Johnny, George didn't re-sign Andy Pettitte, and I was mad as a wet hen in a room full of rocking chairs. I was so mad that I got my metaphors mixed up. But then we dumped Jeff Weaver on the dumb Dodgers, and got one, maybe two years of Kevin Brown out of the deal... Maybe somebody should redo "Hot Legs" as "Hot Stove."
Bob Gomez - December 13, 2003 - Report this comment
What's next for you, hockey parodies? Rugby? How about jai-alai? Yeah, jai-alai...........Hmmm............. d;:^)
Michael Pacholek - December 13, 2003 - Report this comment
I've done plenty of hockey parodies: "Hockey Player 99." "The Devils With the Prize." "Reason to De-Leaf." "My Ice, I Floored You." (Maybe my best title.) And, of course, "Goalie!" But rugby? The only time most Americans have ever seen rugby is when "Red Ross" nearly got killed playing it on "Friends" just to impress his British fiancee Rachel... I mean, Emily! And jai-alai? Let's see... "Jai-alai, this sport will never fly, me and Sammy in Miami said this sport makes me cry..." No... "Ate a wonton in the fronton but the wonton was dry..." No, it'll never work.
neminem - May 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Yeah, I didn't really expect this one wouldn't have already been done, ages ago. Turns out, yup, it was done ages ago. Just thought I'd check, as I just got the idea independently, about 5 minutes ago. Oh well. Good parody, though - not quite a perfect scan, but good enough.
Gavin - May 18, 2016 - Report this comment
This is a beautiful piece of poetry. I have never before witnessed such masterful lyricism.

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