I thought canes were only for the elderly
Then for some old fart, but not for me
Age was out to get me
Watching years go by
Products like "Depends" I go out and buy

And then I saw my face
Now I'm an old geezer
Not a trace of black in my hair
Going blind mmmmmm
I'm an old geezer
Having a seizure
Once again

I thought exercise was such a youthful thing
Seems the more I did, the worse I felt
What's the use in trying
For the muscle strain
Now I'm taking "Doan's Pills" for the pain

Then I saw my face
Now I'm an old geezer
Every place I'm losing my mind
I feel bad mmmmmm
I'm an old geezer
Having a seizure
Once again

I use "Dentu-grip" to keep my teeth in place
Wear a girdle now to hide my gut
Now my hearing aid
I have to set at "ten"
And I didn't need Viagra way back then

Now I see this face
Now I'm an old geezer
Need a case of wrinkle cream now
I'm alive mmmmmm
I'm an old geezer
Out of the freezer
Once again