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Song Parodies -> "Valium"

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Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

I'm going to make up for the shortness of this insipid song by making a big opening statement. "Valleri" was written by Boyce and Hart, who wrote many songs for the Monkees. My comments here pertain to a book I once acquired called "How to Write Hit Songs" supposedly written by Tommy Boyce. In it, he featured many pictures of himself with his awards and his family, and with artists who had hits with his songs. He describes getting loaded in L.A. and spending many useless hours coming up with just one line. Of the song I am parodying here, he speaks with glee about how he sold it with only the hook, "Valleri", and then how he and Hart sweated the rest of the day to come up with the remainder of this "gem" . He included a chapter called "How I wrote My Hit Songs", where he admits, "Last Train to Clarksville" was almost completely written by Bobby Hart, but he added the forty-nine "Do-do-do's" in the middle, proving (by his definition) that genius is "not how much you contribute, but what." After reading this lightweight and completely uneducational tome, I was convinced that it was the most self indulgent piece of crap I'd ever seen. But I wish I hadn't tossed it out, for it would verify what we all suspect, that not talent, but the "Star Maker Machinery" is what runs and has always run the music industry. Many people writing for fun on this site have far more lyrical ability than Tommy Boyce. And I hope this rant inspires a few new parodies at his expense.
Valium. I love that Vallium.

There's a drug I take that makes me feel so good.
And I couldn't cope without it, even if I could.
They named it Valium.
I love my Valium.

(Guitar riff played real slow)

It's the same boring place I live in, guess I always will
But the world looks different when I pop another pill
I'm eatin' Valium
Just love that Valium

(Guitar riff played even slower)

Valium. I live for Valium.
I love my Valium.
I need it, Valium.

Thanks to Johnny for the idea, and Mehli for the Monkees site.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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Johnny D - August 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job on both the story and the parody, Rick. Remember how you said, recently, that you decided to go ahead and plug one of your parodies in a comment because you have tenure? Well, I have tenure too, and I also want to clarify how I gave you the wasn't from chowing down scads of yellow chill-pills, it was from my parody of Elton John's "Crocodile Rock" called "Valium Bong":
Rick D - August 18, 2004 - Report this comment
You can plug on my songs anytime, Johnny. We know you're not a loadie.
Johnny D - August 18, 2004 - Report this comment
"loadie" = "stoner" = someone who is stoned on drugs all the time.

You are correct, Rick, I am not a loadie. I don't think I could have made it to 310 posted parodies in less than 1 year if I was one! Thanks for the kind words, my friend. :-)
alvin rhodes - August 18, 2004 - Report this comment
5 mgs
Billy Florio - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice work
Michael Pacholek - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
"Valium": A highly unstable element found in Southern California, attracting teenage girls and repelling just about everything else. And I still like Vicodin better. Vicodin. It's such a lovely drug.
Tim Hall - August 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent! BTW, Brett Favre liked Vicodin

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