I'm going to make up for the shortness of this insipid song by making a big opening statement. "Valleri" was written by Boyce and Hart, who wrote many songs for the Monkees. My comments here pertain to a book I once acquired called "How to Write Hit Songs" supposedly written by Tommy Boyce. In it, he featured many pictures of himself with his awards and his family, and with artists who had hits with his songs. He describes getting loaded in L.A. and spending many useless hours coming up with just one line. Of the song I am parodying here, he speaks with glee about how he sold it with only the hook, "Valleri", and then how he and Hart sweated the rest of the day to come up with the remainder of this "gem" . He included a chapter called "How I wrote My Hit Songs", where he admits, "Last Train to Clarksville" was almost completely written by Bobby Hart, but he added the forty-nine "Do-do-do's" in the middle, proving (by his definition) that genius is "not how much you contribute, but what." After reading this lightweight and completely uneducational tome, I was convinced that it was the most self indulgent piece of crap I'd ever seen. But I wish I hadn't tossed it out, for it would verify what we all suspect, that not talent, but the "Star Maker Machinery" is what runs and has always run the music industry. Many people writing for fun on this site have far more lyrical ability than Tommy Boyce. And I hope this rant inspires a few new parodies at his expense.

Thanks to Johnny for the idea, and Mehli for the Monkees site.