I don't smoke marijuana, 'less I got some
I've never rolled a joint...in my sleep
I've never smoked a doobie... down at the courthouse
And I hardly ever make love, to cows or sheep

Chorus

I'm just an old hippie from Mississippi
A place with red-neck cops in the Klu Klux Klan
Where gonorrhea is a family tradition
And for most of us third grade was a five year plan

Now we can make a party out of damn near nothin'
Whisky, wine, or beer and airplane glue
I hate it when there ain't nothin' left in the baggie
I guess this tiny roach is gonna have to do

Repeat chorus

Now I ain't growin' marijuana in my garden
Them big weeds just sprung up between the rows of corn
But don't go sprayin' my weeds with Round-Up
I'll make you regret the day that you were born

I'm just an old hippie from Mississippi
A place with red-neck cops in the Klu Klux Klan
And the definition of relative humidity
Is the sweat dripping off-a-you onto your cousin Pam