"Stew My Kitty"

Here I am, in the kitchen, zip to eat,
thinkin’ “Stew my kitty? That’s a scummy thing to do!”
Grapplin’ with hunger, tho' ... I'd really like some meat,
thinkin’ “Stew my kitty? I’m so hungry … Kit, adieu!”
She looks good! (Looks good!)
She’ll cook good! (Cook good!)
She looks good! She’ll cook good! Yes, I guess that’s what I’ll do.

Before she knows it Kitty’s halfway fricasseed
thinkin’ “Whew! This kitty’s pretty glum! I’ll be stew!”
I add veggies and a shake of fennel seed
thinkin’ “Ooh, I think I should put dumplings in it, too!
And what’s more, (What’s more)
a wee pour ( wee pour)
And what’s more, a wee pour of well-aged Château Latour.”

Whoa-oh-oh, with mews she is callin’ on Jove,
Yes she is, and so I quickly turn the burner heat up on the stove.

My pretty pet, her neck I’ve got to wring today
thinkin’ ‘Oooh, it’s sh*tty, Kitty’s gonna be my stew.
’S weird and crappy that her fate’s worked out this way”;
thinkin’, too, “Ah! This is pretty dumb! Skin her , too.
’Cause I’m sure (I’m sure)
her fine (her fine)
’Cause I’m sure her fine hide I’ll want to use some time.”

So-oh-oh, with spoon I’m not stallin’ to move
Siamese from pot to cutting board and all her hide remove.

I’ll wear the leather from the kitty I'll have flayed
thinkin’ “Shoes from Kitty … least that’s somethin’ I'll use.”
A tearful chappie, still, how proudly I'll parade
thinkin’ “You, dear kitty, hadn’t one use but two –
My poor (My poor)
feline, (feline)
My poor feline, 'tis grand I'll use you double-time.”

Whoa-oh-oh
“Stew my kitty? It’s a scummy thing to do!”
“Stew my kitty? But I’m hungry … Kit, adieu!”
“Stew my kitty? She’ll be yummy! Slippers, too!”