I see specs of brown, and bits of white
bends to the left, I do one each night
and I think to myself what a wonderful Turd

sometimes its hard sometimes its soft
sometimes its liquid when i'm feeling off
and I think to myself what a wonderful Turd

The color of the fesces, so pretty in the bowl
I call in all my neighbors, let them enjoy the show
And then once in a while, I do one green
That's really something, to be seen

I've seen black ones too, and i've seen red
I've done a foot-long, it laid me in bed
and I think to myself what a wonderful Turd