You feel 'em on your tongue
A cold is in it's final stage
Loogies, you been coughin' up
Thick brown and yellow beige
But, you're stuck here in Hist'ry class
Lord, they must weigh a pound...
Oh, Loooo-oogies, Don't let 'em go back down

You gently try to clear your throat
This brings up even more
You haven't got a tissue, should you
Pop 'em on the floor?
Don't need to be suspended now,
Last month they gave you three...
Oh, Loooo-oogies, it's a real spitastrophe

So hard to hold big Loogies in your mouth
For very long
Must look like a squirrel with a jaw
Full a' nuts...the lumps are just so wrong
You know you'll have to expel soon
They make a gurglin' sound
Oh, Loooo-oogies, don't let 'em go back down

You struggle hard and hold your breath
The teacher's by the door
She stares at you and starts to speak,
You've seen that look before
She is askin' you, "Which president
Put slavery underground?"
Oh, Loooo-oogies, you feel 'em slide back down

Oh, Loooo-oogies..My God, they slid back down !