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Song Parodies -> "A Few of the Testimonies"

Original Song Title:

"My Favorite Things"

Original Performer:

Julie Andrews

Parody Song Title:

"A Few of the Testimonies"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

If the Mormon term "Fast and Testimony Meeting" doesn't mean anything to you, then neither will this parody or Robert Lund's recording thereof. But that's OK; I'll send over a pair of shiny young men to explain it all.
Brother Johansen says God fixed his prostate
Sister Hill wails that her son's gone apostate
Missy Brown details her trip to Belize
These are a few of the testimonies

Brother Stone calls his ex-wife to repentance
Sister Dean can't form a blubber-free sentence
Ammon Smith's grateful the Jazz beat the Kings
These are a few of the Fast Meeting things

There's unchaste movies at Wal-Mart in Layton
Hillary Clinton's a minion of Satan
God loves you just a bit less if you're gay
These are some nuggets I've picked up today

When this low-key
Shows how odd we are
I simply remember I'm not Warren Jeffs
And then I don't feel bizarre

Madison cries that her mom flushed her turtle
Then she announces her daddy's infertile
Tyler loves Jesus and recess and peas
These are a few of the testimonies

Elder Jones gripes that less-actives frustrate 'im
Nine CTR's thank the same things verbatim
Brother McPhie knows Rush Limbaugh is true
And The Da Vinci Code may well be too

Sister Cabell says the United Nations
Must be the beast from the book Revelations
Folks squirm through dubious doctrine and then
Everyone drowsily mumbles "Amen"

When euphor-ya
Starts to bore ya
Here's the thing that's sweet:
Each talk brings us nearer Hymn 152
And then we go home - to - eat!
(c) 2006+ Find this on the New Super-Duper Expanded Edition of Workin' the Glory.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 47

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   0
 4   4
 5   41

User Comments

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Matthias - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow! Three Spafftastic Parodies in one day!!! So with all this under your belt, are you doing to participate in SOTM again?
Jack Wilson - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
I herad this on your MySpace Muisc page the other, awesome.555!
Adagio - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
He he....I like it.
Lionel Mertens - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
What are CTR's 5's
alvin rhodes - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
my favorite of the day
Serafina - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
I enjoy parodies of this OS...this one gets a perfect 5-5-5 from me. ;)
AFW - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Very well done...with great lines and rhymes
Kristof Robertson - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
OK, Mr Sumsion...what's going on? Three parodies in one day? Jeez Louise....;-). I didn't get ALL the references in this one, but boy- I love what you do with the English language. 555
Stuart McArthur - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
ah, I remember this one from the MB, from that Utah comp - you wuz robbed Spaff - this is brilliant - and I also now know what testimonies (as opposed to moaningtestes) are, thanks to my painstaking research (and the fact you told me :-)) - 555 - "God loves you just a bit less if you're gay" - hee hee - October 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanx, Jack & Adagio & Serafina & AFW & Kristof!

Matthias: Nah. I'm still on a break from the contests, but thanks.

Lionel: The use of "CTR" (Choose The Right) in Mormondom is a whole nother discussion, but here you can translate it as "kid."

Alvin: I'm always thrilled to get the Favorite of Alvin Rhodes Today award.

Stuart: Cool that you remembered. "Moaningtestes" - heh heh. Watch for Arwen to win that competition next year (assuming they repeat it). I'm serious.
Arwen - October 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Well, you already know how I feel about this one, Spaff...(and how my family feels...and how their friends in far off places feel)...but I had to stop by to throw down some fives...and also for name dropping me (with a positive tone) in your comments. Seriously...that ALWAYS gets a fella points with me...; )
Arwen - October 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Ummm...I'm pretty sure there is supposed to be a "to thank you" in between the "and also" and the "for name dropping" in my comment. I'm a little bit slow...sorry about that. - November 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Sister Evenstar: Thank you...and your family...and their friends in far off places. And I'm pretty sure there's a "you're welcome" in here too.
Jennley - November 12, 2006 - Report this comment
That was sooo funny!!! I loved it. My brother played it for my family and some of the others from church and everyone was laughing their heads off it was that great!!! LOL - December 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, Sister Jennley.
Kelly Crutcher - December 30, 2006 - Report this comment
I'm a fellow Mormon, a Sister in the Satelite Beach Ward of the Cocoa Florida Stake. I just wanted to say that I *loved* this parody; I laughed my head off. Please, keep up the great work!
Kelly Crutcher - December 31, 2006 - Report this comment
I'm not sure on that one line you typed for the song: *Elder Jones gripes that less-actives frustrate 'im, "Nine CTR's thank the same things verbatim" * Is it "Nine CTR's 'think' the same things verbatim"? I'm a little confused on the one line, but I love the song anyway. :) Could someone let me know what the right line is please?
Phil Alexander - January 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Missed this first time around - run-of-the-mill bloody marvellous ;-) - January 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Sister Crutcher: Thank you and nice catch. I used "thank" as shorthand for "say that they are thankful for." Although it's technically incorrect, I thought it was more evocative than "say."

Brother Alexander: I am thankful for that comment.
bob - February 04, 2007 - Report this comment
That was amazingly funny
Kelly Crutcher - March 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks for letting me know about the line, I just got confused. :)
A Clarke - August 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Brilliant! Totally brilliant! - August 18, 2007 - Report this comment
bob & A Clarke: Why, thank you.
Kelly: Why, you're welcome.
Jenny - September 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Ha-ha-ha!!! I love it! And its so true, I've heard about half of those talks in my own fast meeting! I first heard this song in Seminary, as an example of what NOT to do when you're giving a talk, and when my teacher played it for us there was a line in between the verses somewhere where the guy asked his sister for some leftover Cherrio's. I don't know, maybe it was some rip-off I heard. It's still hilarious though!!!
Jadzia - September 09, 2007 - Report this comment
I love this!!!! My friend showed it to me and I had to have it. It's so funny because it is totally true. I have been to so many of those meetings. Every Fast Sunday I hear at least 4 bizarre testimonies. - October 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Jenny: You heard Robert Lund's recording - he ad-libbed that Cheerios line in the break, which I love too. Thanks!

Jadzia: Let's just say it's inspired by actual events.
Phillip - March 27, 2008 - Report this comment
Stumbled across Workin the Glory album in a Limewire search (sorry). I love this whole album. As a LDS I do believe that a non - LDS wouldn't get the humor. How about another album Robert? - May 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Another album you can steal off Limewire? We'll get right on that.
Samuel Siebach - June 19, 2014 - Report this comment
How do I download this song?
mr helpful - June 20, 2014 - Report this comment

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