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Song Parodies -> "The Reasons Why Women Need Men"

Original Song Title:

"My Favorite Things"

Original Performer:

Julie Andrews

Parody Song Title:

"The Reasons Why Women Need Men"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Enjoy my humble list of the reasons why women need men.
Working too late and then bringing home flowers
Fix what's not broken with our special powers
Go get more ice-cream again and again
These are the reasons why women need men

Scare off the boyfriend our daughter is dating
Say you are right if we're ever debating
Mow front and back and then row the canoe
Sure you can do this, but we still have to

Screw up the grocery list that you gave us
Ten-year reunions, say you're rich and famous
Kill all the spiders that we do not fear
These are the reasons why men are still here

Park when we're late
Say you look great
Walk the dog at night
And if we should question the choices you make
Remember you're always right

Always defend you no matter your causes
Be really nice when you have meta... something
Tell you we're soul-mates to help you reach Zen
These are the reasons why women need men

Say you are special and there is no other
Promise that you won't turn into your mother
Give you a ring with a wedding bell gist
These are the reasons why men still exist

Lasso your stars
Open jam jars
Be there through and through
Despite all the details that you need us for
All we really need...
2004+ 2nz

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 45

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   1
 3   2
 4   7
 5   33

User Comments

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Phil Alexander - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent, 2nz
Royce Miller - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I enjoyed this alot.
Johnny D - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
So true!
EmiLoca - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
True in every aspect. All 5's.
Arwen - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
2nz!!! This is SOOO great! I think it's my new favorite song...Seriously! I think every man in the universe should have to read this! Yea!! (I, personally, will kill my own spiders...but I'm a tough broad...a rare breed...)
2nz - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks a bunch, Philbo, JD, RM, livin' Loca and Arwen... you sure are ;c)
Melhi - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Some of my reasons differ a little, but this is very, very sweet. Normally, I don't like sweet, but I do like this and you did a really good job with it.

Oh and...
As a woman who can barely even think the word "spider" without getting a severe case of the willies, I'd like to extend a warm and sincere thank you to all of you fearless spider killing gents, not just for killing the evil beasts and disposing of their remains, but for not laughing at us as you do. :) Thank You.
Rick D - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
One of your best...
Claude Prez - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Great stuff; hilarious. Except you forgot "Rub your back til I get Carp-Tunnel Syndrome". Or is that just MY wife?
pyromaniac - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
That was great! and oh so true. :P
Serafina - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice job, 2nz; 5-5-5.
The Green Goblin - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Kill spiders,huh? You trying to say that I'm not a man ?
Jeff Reuben - May 22, 2004 - Report this comment
I forwarded this to my wife. She says you're her favorite parody author. I asked, "Even ahead of me?" She said, "You're pretty good too dear, now mow the lawn.:
Jeff Reuben - May 22, 2004 - Report this comment
BTW, spiders help me with the job of getting rid of other bugs, so I just try to catch them and let them go outside. Across a state line of course, but outside.
The Thought Police - May 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Jeff,if that happens to be the Hawaiian State Line,Take me there'too! 5,5,5's
2nz - May 25, 2004 - Report this comment
malcolm higgins - May 28, 2004 - Report this comment
this one's headed for the hall of fame 5-5-5
Know 1 can hear you dream - May 29, 2004 - Report this comment
And not a single dirty punchline throughout. Impressive!
2nz - May 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks you very much Mehli, Rick, C4P (no, it's not just you, trust me), pyro, Buona Serafina, Green Gob (yes, yes I am), Jeff (nice complement :c), TTP, Mr. Higgins and KnowOne.
2nz - June 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Melhi, excuse me.
Arwen - June 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I was just reminded of this one on the comment board...and I had to say again how much I love it. Really. So...there you go!
Ashkicksass - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
SO true! This is fabulous! 555
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Worthy of 5s here. That ending was soppier than an adult diaper, but I liked it all the same. Please explain that 'meta-something' line, I would have found a comment on 'meno-something' more fitting.
Melhi - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Yep, I still like it. (SOTM)
Johnny D - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
(May SOTM) See above.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
(May SOTM) I'm following suit by plugging these parentheses wherever I go as this seems to verify that we've viewed it in the context of a competition. This one is definitely going in my top 3!
Meriadoc - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Checking this one out early as I see it is in the lead, and I understand why! Very clever and funny! 5's.

Incidentally, I remove spiders back to the great outdoors alive and by hand (including balck widows) so I guess now you know which sex I am, eh? ;-)
Ash - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
I idolize the creator of this parody! This is one of the funniest parodies I've encountered so far on this site (no I haven't look very far yet but for now this def is one of my faves!) - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
"Does this dress make me look huge?"
"No - YOU make the DRESS look huge."
(Just a helpful suggestion on what to say to avoid being needed for anything ever again.) Excellent work, Looney 2nz!
zfunky1 - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I really liked this until that @ss-kissing ending!! A perfect parody until then! Sweet but revolting.... perhaps I'm just jealous I didn't think of it first!! 545
Adagio - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
(MAY SOTM) This was great!!!! Everything Melhi said...we really do appreciate gentlemanly gestures like those. 5's
Gloria Steinem - June 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Women need men like fish need bicycles.
John Jenkins - June 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Very good parody, 2nz. When are you going to write the sequel, "The Reasons Why Men Need Women" and will it be a very short song?
2nz - June 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh, bother. Here goes... thanks again Arwen, Mel, and JD, thanks Azkabankicksass, thanks Jar-Jar, thanks Merry-Merry confuse me very, thanks Ash, thanks aSpaffigus, thanks zfunky zmonkey, any time and thanks Patagio (To borrow Spaff's nickname, 'cause I can't think of a better one), thanks Gloria (I know what you mean, all of my fish have moved on to using jet-skis or aquatic quads at this point) and thanks G.I. John Jenkins (Believe it or not, the list for this parody started out with only TWO things on it: Open jam jars and kill spiders. For the rest of the song, I had to improvise and pray that no one would notice)
neminem - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Heh... amusing, but still kind of sexist. Personally, I consider telling a girl she's right even if she obviously isn't the dumbest thing ever, and something you would only do if you were really desperate and didn't think too highly of the girl's intelligence ;-). And although I'm fine doing things for people to be nice, there's no reason why you would need to hold a door open for a friend who's a girl any more than some other friend who's a guy. Parts were just cute, and were perfectly fine, but enough was annoyingly sexist to force me to only give you 4s in humor. Sorry. So 5/4/4.
2nz - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh nem... nem, nem, nem. No apology needed. You've never seen a husband and wife fight over carpet color or home furnishings, have you? This parody is geared towards women and their husbands, in that order. Thanks for the honesty, bro. Incidentally, I wrote a Mario parody recently. I wouldn't be so shameless, except your one of the few other gamers I know here.
May SOTM Winner - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Congratulations to 2nz for winning the May Song of the Month contest with this incredible parody! Well done, 2nz!
Arwen - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
YEA! This one should be song of the YEAR!!! It's my favorite!
MasonR - July 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow! This is a fantastic parody and rightly deserves song of the month. Congratulations, 2nz!
2nz - July 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Holy cow, over 30 votes... quite awesome :c) thanks again and again and again Arwen. And thanks MR. ason
Arwen - July 08, 2004 - Report this comment
2nz is here!!!
Kelpy - July 11, 2004 - Report this comment
The only bit I agree with is the bit about the jam jars. Of course, I'm one of those independent feminist types. ;) And just a weirdo who thinks supposedly 'normal' people are utterly mad with their phobias of spiders and weird relationship cliche`s. Still found this mildly amusing, though I think it was for different reasons from everyone else.
MAY 2004 SONG OF THE MONTH GOLD MEDAL - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment;topic=3009.0;id=1330;image
Jonathan C. - September 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Great song, but not entirely true with my sister. She's the one with all the testosterone. :( - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Still sweet, Looney 2nz. And back in the spotlight just in time for VD (Valentine's Day).
John Jenkins - February 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks for all of the reminders, 2nz. I've been married 25 years and sometimes I still forget.
e - August 27, 2005 - Report this comment
I've been depressed lately that women might not need us anymore. But this song lifted my spirits. I'm also surprised that an overwhelming amount of all sexes agree with me. At least on the part that women need men. Personally, I think that both sexes will inexorably need each other, no matter what. And by the way, replacing "meta-something" with "menopause" would be somewhat sexist, but it would work. Or maybe that's what you wanted to say. :P
SisterGirl - November 10, 2005 - Report this comment
You forgot that we also need men to take out garbage, otherwise, the song is so true.
Women: Can't Live With 'Em, Can't Shoot 'Em - April 07, 2012 - Report this comment
(famous Al Bundy quote)

Oh, so true, and how quickly they forget... Lots of good lines, but "turn into your mother" was a LOL moment..
(Did you mean "meno" for "meta"? Just wondering.... have parodied that time of life, but no plugs.)

Ahh, for the good old days, when a good parody got 30-50 v/c instead of 3-5, as nowadays. 555, although if I (TT) had written it, it would have ended with "ewe". xD     (and could you please be a bit more specific about just exactly how much and which part of "you" that we need? heh heh.)
Peter Andersson - September 03, 2017 - Report this comment
I knew there was an old 2nz parody I should have mentioned yesterday but I couldn't remember the title - thanks to Claude now I do - it was this gem!

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