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Song Parodies -> "Stupid Cliches"

Original Song Title:

"Favorite Things"

Original Performer:

Julie Andrews

Parody Song Title:

"Stupid Cliches"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

What is this hair from a dog that has bitten?
Don't have doors hittin' your place the Lord's splitin',
With fleas you rise when it's with dog's you lay,
What does it mean all these stupid cliches?

Can't fight the Borg 'cause resistance is futile,
Why is ev'rything slicker than wet noodle?
Shot at and missed but then shit at and hit,
But in the wind it is foolish to spit.

Cease with the rubbing where there are some rashes,
What is that stuff in those pans that cause flashes?
Sometimes these cliches say way clever things,
But other times they leave me question-ing.

Hair of dog bites, flashy pan scenes,
Fleas are bitin' bad,
If I could remember,
What each cliche means,
Then they wouldn't sound half bad.

Ten pounds of shit in five pound bags ain't fittin',
Glitter on poop still smells like someone's shittin',
Land of the blind, the one eyed man is king,
Who in the hell came up with all these things?

Five pound crap bags, shit that's shining,
One eyed kings are wild,
If I could remember,
What each cliche means,
Then language and grammar would seem more routine,

And I wouldn't get so riled.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 3.6
Overall Rating: 3.6

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Steve Kalafut - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Ah yes, 10 pounds of guano in a 5-pound bag, also known as a "blivet". (Not sure on the spelling)
Adagio - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
You are writing funny ones lately, Guy!
mac195 - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Very clever.
Jeff Reuben - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Good song Guy, this is as good as it gets. You hit the nail on the head with this one!
Johnny D - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Great one, Guy - 5's, and that ain't no kleeshay!

I can shed some light on the old cliche "a flash in the pan". In my home town of Concord, Massachusetts, there's a local amateur historian who published a book about little-know details and facts about the Revolutionary War history of Concord and Lexington. One of the most interesting chapters in his book is about common modern-day expressions and figures of speech that have their roots in early American history. One such figure of speech is "a flash in the pan", which, back in the days of flintlock muskets, referred to the misfiring of a musket: the gunpowder in the musket's powder-chamber, or "pan", "flashed" or burned quickly when ignited by the flint's spark, without setting off the charge that would have propelled the musket-ball towards those bloody Red-Coats who marched into my home town (Concord) thinking they would get their bloody British hands on our hastily-hidden munitions!
Johnny D - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Ooops, in my previous comment, I meant to say "little-known" where I accidentally said "little-know" !
Agrimorfee - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
You'll hate me, but I like you. But sorry, I 'm a fussy shit. I thought you were really *really* reaching, trying to force the concept on top of the song. Good idea, wrong song? And 'futile' and noodle' just don't work as a rhyme for me. You added one more line on the last stanza where it wasn't needed. 333
Valley Girl - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Like how can you call these cliches? I mean, like everybody says them. I don't get it.
pickle - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
A relative of mine who kept spouting these cliches got described as 'the original old wife' (as in 'old wives' tales').
Narf - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
I don't get it either, but it was a good parody nonetheless.
Olvan The Terrible - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
I noticed an inordinate amount of these cliches are about poop and shit...
Guy - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
I was going to use shit and shinola but I ran out of verse.
sloatead - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
"You added one more line on the last stanza where it wasn't needed" Agrimorfee, check the original version, there's an extra line in the last stanza, so look before you...oops, sorry
Tim Hall - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Great, but where's the John Coltrane solos?
Jack Wilson - January 27, 2004 - Report this comment
LOl good job!
Agrimorfee - January 28, 2004 - Report this comment
sloatead, I am going by the Sound of Music OST album version, I guess you and Guy have some other recording you are using as a guide. Oh well.
Guy - January 28, 2004 - Report this comment
JD - Thanks for the info on "Flash in the pan". I really never knew the origin of that one. Very good.

Thanks all to have voted and commented. The comments made here for the most part are especially entertaining. Well done commenters! I give you 5s.
Michael Pacholek - January 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Guy uses potty humor because you got to dance with them what brung you. And when he's done in the potty, he puts his pants back on one leg at a time. Of course, he keeps his shirt on. As for this parody, well, it wasn't my cup of tea. It didn't float my boat. The lights were on, but nobody was home. But will be back, keeping his powder dry, and he won't write until he sees the whites of our eyes. So keep your eye on the ball, your ear to the ground, your nose to the grindstone, your shoulder to the wheel and your pedal to the metal! Of course, that's not meant to be taken literally. Nobody should ever actually put his nose on a grindstone. Except maybe in one of the "Airplane!" movies.

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