Song Parodies -> A Few of My Resolutions
| Original Song Title: | "My Favorite Things" |
| Original Performer: | Julie Andrews |
| Parody Song Title: | "A Few of My Resolutions" |
| Parody Written by: | Spaff.com |
Give to the homeless and love all my neighbors
Don't blow my paychecks at 31 Flavors
Pay down my credit cards, Firm up my buns
These are a few of my resolu-tions
Set free the neighborhood pets from my attic
Don't look for boobs in the Spice Channel static
Start wearing underpants, Stop sniffing glue
These are the things I'm resolving to do
Send Get Well cards to the girls that I've dated
Pose in my G-string in Sports Illustrated
Kick ass in Bunco and Bingo and golf
These are the things that I hereby resolf
Braid my nose hair
Streak through Times Square
Add an inch - or more
And if I don't get this all done the first day
I've still got three-sixty-four!
(Now sing along, you little rugrats, or I'm taking you to Neverland Ranch!)
Stop mixing Prozac, Viagra, and Midol
Sing The Thong Song on American Idol
Find a new soulmate I don't tip with ones
These are a few of my resolutions
Grope Mrs. Clinton or Bryant or Shriver
Show skin on Jackass and Cops and Survivor
Burn off my life-size Rush Limbaugh tattoo
These are the things I'm resolving to do
Marry J. Lo
Join a freak show
Whack a Mouseketeer
And if I give up by the end of this month
I'll try it again
Next
Year!
Don't blow my paychecks at 31 Flavors
Pay down my credit cards, Firm up my buns
These are a few of my resolu-tions
Set free the neighborhood pets from my attic
Don't look for boobs in the Spice Channel static
Start wearing underpants, Stop sniffing glue
These are the things I'm resolving to do
Send Get Well cards to the girls that I've dated
Pose in my G-string in Sports Illustrated
Kick ass in Bunco and Bingo and golf
These are the things that I hereby resolf
Braid my nose hair
Streak through Times Square
Add an inch - or more
And if I don't get this all done the first day
I've still got three-sixty-four!
(Now sing along, you little rugrats, or I'm taking you to Neverland Ranch!)
Stop mixing Prozac, Viagra, and Midol
Sing The Thong Song on American Idol
Find a new soulmate I don't tip with ones
These are a few of my resolutions
Grope Mrs. Clinton or Bryant or Shriver
Show skin on Jackass and Cops and Survivor
Burn off my life-size Rush Limbaugh tattoo
These are the things I'm resolving to do
Marry J. Lo
Join a freak show
Whack a Mouseketeer
And if I give up by the end of this month
I'll try it again
Next
Year!
© 2003+ Spaff.com. Shameless plug: Get this on the Robert Lund CD Elves Gone Wild!
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User Comments Follow...
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Spaff - Excellent! I'm howling. You have got to get Mr Lund to record this for you if not done so already.
"Don't look for boobs in the Spice Channel static"
It took me just a sec. to figure this line out and then a loud howl.
"Don't look for boobs in the Spice Channel static"
It took me just a sec. to figure this line out and then a loud howl.
Crazy!! In a good way! :D 5's
I've heard this song on Elves Gone Wild, and it's hilarious. 5-5-5
I need more funny in my own parodies - and Spaff, thou, dude, doth showeth me howeth to doeth it - very good !!
Soooooooo good!! I'm loving it!
Thanx, Guy & Pat & Red & Johnny Deet & Jan!
This is track 16 on "Elves Gone Wild!" For some reason, it's listed on the CD as just "A Few Resolutions," but it's the same song.
This is track 16 on "Elves Gone Wild!" For some reason, it's listed on the CD as just "A Few Resolutions," but it's the same song.
Seriously Fabulous! Anyone who can include a reference to Bunco in their parodies is brilliant in my book! I LOVE it! 5s!!
5-5-5!! But...'resolf'? Ok, now you've done it!! Resolf is now useable at this site!! Congratulations on yet another perfect parody!
I thought this was pretty good too! 5-5-5
I resolve to go back to this one many times next year and laugh my ass off!
Why would anyone get a Rush Limbaugh Tattoo? lol
LOL!
Boy we never get sick of this song, do we? Well done, you mad cow, you.
Spaff, EX-CELL-EN-TEE. I like the "resolf" - you could have used "resolve" and it would work, but the mutation has a "poetic license" feel that takes that verse out of the ordinary into a special comedic realm (translation: I had to grin and chuckle when I read it just for it's own sake, but it also signalled, "ok, it's been good up 'til now, but HERE'S where it really starting rockin' & rollin'.") Now we're all drooling (well, I am, anyway. Gotta talk to my dentist about that.), ready to get knocked on our respective rears by the final verses (and we are).
OK, I'm singing along already! PLEASE don't take me to Neverland! (But then, I'm too old for MJ's tastes.)
Why would anyone get a Rush Pinball tattoo? Or a Hate-lery Clinton tattoo? Well, *something* has to go inside my red ball-and-slash tattoo (lol). Of course, I thought of putting the Green Bay Quackers logo there....
Yeah, I'm too old to fit in at Neverland too, so in your face. Fives, mate.
If Julie Andrews sang this, 'The Sound Of Music' would be a lot more tolerable.
magically delicious
Simply amazing! All 5s!
Excellent!
I liked him singing 'The Thong Song' on American Idol! Also, if Bjork had sung this parody in 'Dancer In The Dark' (her character Selma is seen rehearsing 'The Sound Of Music') it may have made that Lars Von Trier miseryfest funnier. Then again she could have done to sing 'There Were Ten Million Green Bottles' during the execution scene. Good stuff!
This song is not appropriate for little kids. That said, "braid my nose hair" is my five-year-old's favorite line, followed closely by "whack a Mouseketeer".
This was one of the top three or four songs on the album.
Wow, y'all, your comments make this all worthwhile.
Thanx, Sir X & Michaelopedia & Mel & Marlowe & Royce the leprechaun & Mikerz & Brandybuck.
Arwen: I shoulda figured that a Kearns emigre would get the Bunco thing.
Jude and Paul: Some rhymes make less sense the deeper you delf.
Billy F & Mike M: The joke was originally about Johnny Depp's "Winona Forever" tattoo. But that's SO last year.
RAD: Moo moo, big boy.
Steve & Ozzy: Hey, there's room at Neverland for adults too. One adult, anyway. And there may be a vacancy soon.
pickle: Thanks for bringing back the image of Bjork at the Oscars in that swan dress.
C4P & Jeffaroo: I've had people tell me that their kids love the CD and play it nonstop. Yikes. My intent was not for a bunch of preschoolers to go around singing about Russian nymphomaniacs.
Thanx, Sir X & Michaelopedia & Mel & Marlowe & Royce the leprechaun & Mikerz & Brandybuck.
Arwen: I shoulda figured that a Kearns emigre would get the Bunco thing.
Jude and Paul: Some rhymes make less sense the deeper you delf.
Billy F & Mike M: The joke was originally about Johnny Depp's "Winona Forever" tattoo. But that's SO last year.
RAD: Moo moo, big boy.
Steve & Ozzy: Hey, there's room at Neverland for adults too. One adult, anyway. And there may be a vacancy soon.
pickle: Thanks for bringing back the image of Bjork at the Oscars in that swan dress.
C4P & Jeffaroo: I've had people tell me that their kids love the CD and play it nonstop. Yikes. My intent was not for a bunch of preschoolers to go around singing about Russian nymphomaniacs.
First place and deserving. A late congrads to the reigning king.
Perfecto. I love the "list of crazy things" type of songs, they're so much fun to write and as a reader you just don't know what's coming next. Life-Size 5s.
Hi, Spaff - my kids love the CD, too (though I do try and skip the last couple of verses of "Paddle my Bum", for fear of unwanted questions ).
Yeah, just for the record here, the kids only hear this stuff in the car and for some reason Dad's always loudly clearing his throat at certain key parts. That way they're not exposed to anything unseemly when I drive them to day care at the rectory;
Now you've done it. First I went to see Derek Trucks play and, realizing that I'll never be that good, I came home and burned my guitars. All 10 of them. Now, having read your parody, I'm looking around for something else to burn. This one has it all. The meter of "My Favorite Things" is perfect for laying out, in rapid-fire succession a list of familiar good intentions, but you pull in so many contemporary absurdities as well ("...add an inch?" You must be getting those spams, too.). We can all laugh at ourselves as we laugh at your parody. And the verses are arranged so that you take us deeper and deeper into the absurd. This is a master at work.
A fine addition to the "Favorite Things" canon, in your unmistakably weird and fearless voice. Congratulations and best regards as always--d;:^)
2nz: Thanx!
Stevenagh: I stole the idea from Luke Ski.
Luke Ski: JUST KIDDING. Steven Cavanagh stole it.
Phil & Claude: My goal is two have a whole generation of kids shouting "My kielbasa's long enough!" Girls too. Think how empowering that would be.
Mark: Thanks - your check is in the mail. Meanwhile, I'd better check out Derek Trucks too, since I like burning stuff.
Bob Frickin' Gomez: I've been called unmistakably weird before, but never weird and fearless. Thanks for the honor.
Stevenagh: I stole the idea from Luke Ski.
Luke Ski: JUST KIDDING. Steven Cavanagh stole it.
Phil & Claude: My goal is two have a whole generation of kids shouting "My kielbasa's long enough!" Girls too. Think how empowering that would be.
Mark: Thanks - your check is in the mail. Meanwhile, I'd better check out Derek Trucks too, since I like burning stuff.
Bob Frickin' Gomez: I've been called unmistakably weird before, but never weird and fearless. Thanks for the honor.
There's something that I don't get: I see that all but one person voted 5's for pacing; the other voted 1 for that category? How could he/she/it do such a thing? (I was not that person; I'm too smart. In fact, I voted straight fives.)
I just got around to reading this and it is freaking HILARIOUS!! When I read the "resolf" rhyme I fell out of my chair - shades of Ogden Nash!!! My favorite line: "Find a new soulmate I don't tip with ones!" I just stopped in this Sunday morning to break the Sabbath reading a few parodies. NOW how am I gonna teach my class - LOL!! This was truly a straight fiver and well-deserved!
Johnny BN: Perhaps 1's should be viewed as a badge of honor - proof that the parody is edgy enough that someone disliked it. Everyone likes high marks, though, so thanks for yours.
Bro. Pooch: I'm honored that you would break the Sabbath for me, especially to quote an unholy line. Now go and sin no more.
Bro. Pooch: I'm honored that you would break the Sabbath for me, especially to quote an unholy line. Now go and sin no more.
OMG this is really funny. I really love this one. You are the one of the spoof masters of different musicals. lol my favorite part is "Now sing along you little rugrats, or I'm taking you to Neverland Ranch!" XD
Thanx, MEBM. Believe it or not, this was recorded in October, before the latest pedophilia scandal. So what could have been an old joke became timely again. (Then again, Jacko is always a safe bet.)
I think Johhny makes a fair observation. If I don't like a parody, I ain't gonna just vote ALL ONES; that would be dishonest. If the pacing is perfect or near-perfect, then voting 1 in that category would be absurd. It is perfectly valid, however, to vote 5-1-1. AAMOF, that's what I did with one parody on the site I disliked. (I ain't gonna say which one, though.)
Probably my fav on the CD Great job!
Thanx again for picking up the CD, Jackie. And Max: Good point, but there's just no way to prevent people from voting subjectively in every category. I try (TRY) to appreciate every vote regardless, and focus my energy on writing the next one.
ROTFLMAO!!! literally!
Saider: Literally? That's quite an image.
So so so so so so fabulous! I love you Spaff!
Sister Kicksass: To your first exclamation: I know you are. To your second: Repeatedly?
Well you did agree to wear the sandwich board...
Pacing- 51 fives, 1 three, 1 one
Funny - 48 fives, 2 fours, 3 ones
Overall - 50 fives, 1 four, 2 ones
Funny - 48 fives, 2 fours, 3 ones
Overall - 50 fives, 1 four, 2 ones
unbelieveable and astonishing -so perfect (I got to it from your signature at the bottom of your messageboard comment on Angelina J. - f.y.i.)
Belated thanx, Stuartiste. It's just about time to dust off last year's resolutions and re-set them. Again.
I listened the EGW CD today; this was one of my favorite tracks from it.
Thanx, Ant in Chains. It's just about time to dust off 2004's resolutions and re-set them. Again.
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This is view # 851
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