Wake up at seven and head for the shower
I have to be at my desk in an hour
Alarm clock's broke: it's not seven, it's eight!
Holy [expletive]; I'm gonna be late!

Run to the bus stop and slip in street vomit
Put down my briefcase and two dogs piss on it
Do not see lamp-post and squish my whole face
Looks like it's gonna be one of those days

Jump on the first bus, without close inspection
It's moving quickly....in the wrong direction
Utter another expletive-filled phrase
No doubt in my mind; it's one of those days

Gonna get fired
Missed a meeting
Things are lookin' bad
Then I get a call from my drunk Friday fling
She says I might be...a dad! {f***!}

I'm reeling as I take the elevator
Out of my pocket falls my wife's vibrator
Right at the feet of my manager, Jane
There's really no point in try'n to explain...

Computer crashes while report I'm savin'
Boss takes the credit for all of my slavin'
Then thinks I'm joking when I ask for raise
She doesn't care I've had one of those days

On the way home, get molested by a tramp
Sit on a park bench, then wonder why it's damp
In supermarket, knock down canned display
Chased by security, I run away

Lost my house keys
Wife's in Beijing
Sleep in garden shed
So even on days when you feel like crying
Read this and you won't...feel bad