Song Parodies -> "Folger's Crystals Blues"

Original Song Title:

"Folsom Prison Blues"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"Folger's Crystals Blues"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

To get my brain to runnin',
Need that special caffeine blend,
Or I can't greet the sunshine, 'til way on past ten.
I suck down Folger's crystals, until the draggin's gone.
Get my brain out my colon, shake out the sand and stone.
I brew it thick as gravy, that java's boldly done,
Drink it like the cowboys, use cream and sugar, none.
Tried a shot of capuccino, just the cost was high,
It just got my whizzer flowing, but bang my head did nigh.

I just can't get woke drinkin' in those fancy coffee bars,
That's why I take my coffee, hot smokin' from the jar.
Well I know I'll soon be hummin', I like my canned coffee,
Dispostion keeps improvin',
Because it nurtures me.

When I need to clear my vision,
When my jelloed brain's offline.
I can improve it just by gettin' Folgers back online.
Fixed with Folger's crystals, that's how I start my day,
And I'll let that wholesome nectar blow the snooze away.

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Royce Miller - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment

super one, Guy

alvin rhodes - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment

great way to start the morning...5s

Adagio - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment

:D Hit a similar note here..."Or I can't greet the sunshine, 'til way on past ten." 5's

Rick C - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment

Glad I got my brain out my colon and read this today....555

John Barry - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment

This one got me perkin'. 5s

Scathe - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment

3 5's, zero blinking

Michael Pacholek - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment

Tonight, we're secretly replacing the fives that Guy usually receives with dark, sparkling ones... No, we ain't! This was good to the last drop! And I'm sure Johnny Cash would agree with it. I can see him drinking Dunkin' Donuts coffee, but not Starbucks and the like. Though he might have started singin' "Starbucks everywhere, man, Starbucks everywhere..."

2Eagle - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment

Whatever you do, don't try a coffee enema.

Kristof Robertson - April 26, 2005 - Report this comment

Folgers Crystals? Sounds like some 19th century remedy for constipation. ;-) 555

duke - July 22, 2007 - Report this comment

HI-RES JPEG Size: 5 018 kb HI-RES TIFF Size: 34 410 kb Mars Express’ High Resolution Stereo Camera (HRSC) has provided snapshots of the Aeolis Mensae region on the Red Planet. The region, imaged on 26 and 29 March 2007, during Mars Express orbit number 4136 and 4247, is located at approximately 6° South and 145° East. Deep valleys are incised into the highlands in the northern part of the scene showing linear features on the floor of the valley. Similar linear features are also seen in the lower part of the picture but the morphology is different from the region in the upper part in that there are no incisions. Also, the area is far less cratered and hence the erosion must be of a relatively recent origin. Scientists have reason to believe that the valleys might primarily originate from tectonic activity. This 3D (anaglyph) image was calculated by putting together data from the nadir channel and one of the stereo channels. Credits: ESA/DLR/FU Berlin (G. Neukum) Mars express Europien space agence

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