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Song Parodies -> "Meat Causes Early Death"

Original Song Title:

"White Rabbit"

Original Performer:

Jefferson Airplane

Parody Song Title:

"Meat Causes Early Death"

Parody Written by:

Vegan Minstrel

The Lyrics

One food makes you healthy
and another makes you sprawl
and the ones that mother gives you
have no nutrients at all
Dad's on digitalis
He can barely crawl

And if you go eating rabbits
you know you're going to fall
Don't eat insects like caterpillars
You're better off eating ghourds
Don't end up on digitalis
in a hospital ward

Vegans on your smart-phone
are telling you the way to go
You're OK with raw mushrooms
Keep your cholesterol low
Don't end up on digitalis
That's not the way to go

Massive amounts of research
says meat causes early death
It causes many cancers
and other diseases you dread
Remember what the science says
Meat causes early death
Meat causes early death
Meat causes early death!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.4
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   0
 4   1
 5   2

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Amanda - April 22, 2012 - Report this comment
You have a right to be a vegan, but you do not have a right to let it interfere with other people's right to eat meat.
vegan minstrel - May 02, 2012 - Report this comment
Many drugs have been made illegal in the interests of health. Meat is really a drug for humans and i could only applaud if it was made illegal for human consumption. Parody recording for this is posted karaoke style at
vegan minstrel - May 02, 2012 - Report this comment
ghourd should be spelled gourd
vegan minstrel - August 30, 2016 - Report this comment
"you're OK with raw mushrooms" should be replaced with "you're OK with cooked mushrooms" since raw mushrooms have a toxin which is destroyed by cooking. also, another source says all mushrooms are essentially indigestible if eaten raw because of their tough cell walls, and that to release their nutrients, they must be cooked.
Carnivore - August 31, 2016 - Report this comment
Your title is misleading. How do you explain all the carnivores that live over life expectancy and how about smokers too? For that matter explain all vegan deaths under age 76. Vegans aren't exempt from disease, depression, suicide, etc...

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