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Song Parodies -> "Condoleezza Why"

Original Song Title:

"Cara Mia Why"

Original Performer:

Jay and the Americans

Parody Song Title:

"Condoleezza Why"

Parody Written by:

Squire Malloy

The Lyrics

as we move through Black History Month, I think it would be unfair not to mention the often overlooked contributions made to the African-American community by the GOP, its former chairman Michael Steele, and the Bush family inparticular. In the face of fierce opposition George H.W. Bush had the courage to nominate a Black to the Supreme Court, and his son,W, gave us the first Black female National Security Advisor and Secretary of State(Condi Rice) as well as the first Black male Secretary of State.Were it not for these breakthroughs by the Bush presidents, it is entirely likely that president Obama would not be in the White House today. This next parody celebrates Ms. Rice's great contributions to our country and the world
Condoleezza why
Did you just sit by?
That PDB should have opened your eyes
But you didn't push
Or get it up to Bush
You dropped the ball and sat on your tush

Condoleezza why
Condoleezza why
Condoleezza why
Condoleezza why

Condoleezza why
Did you always lie?
You ran your mouth and our soldiers died
There's no mushroom cloud
But you had no doubt
Stay back at Stanford and make us proud

Condoleezza why
Condoleezza why
Condoleezza why
Condoleezza why

Condoleezza why
Can't you find a guy?
But into your private life we won't pry
Could it be you're gay
Or a lousy lay
You did your damage, now stay away!

Condoleezza why
Condoleezza why
Condoleezza why
Condoleezza why

Condoleezza why
Did you let torture fly?
Those enhanced methods can make grown men cry
Go back to your Boards
And the corporate hordes
Let us alone
Till the end of time!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - February 09, 2011 - Report this comment
It got her a seat at the Super Bowl with George and Laura, didn't it? And, to be fair, she does have a guy, Gene Washington, former NFL star and former head of the players' union. A labor union! Then again, they do have kind of an "Oprah & Stedman" relationship... I wonder if Condi has a "Gayle King"... And then, sitting a couple of rows up from Condi and the Bushes, with their homes in the U.S., the U.K., and Bermuda, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones are probably bigger experts on foreign policy than anybody else who was in that box! I wonder if Douglas leaned over and said, "I'm alive today because I could afford 'the best health care system in the world.' Not everybody can. Check out my wife's country: They give it away."
Old Man Ribber - February 09, 2011 - Report this comment
Squire - Well-done parody! Cooler heads are scoring today on execution rather than ideology (In my opinion, the only way to operate. There is ample room to comment here at the bottom).I'm no enemy of Condi (after all, she is a skilled classical As in the case of former senator Gary Hart, too much "Rice" can be a dangerous thing! (I never met a pun I didn't like!) ;D
Tommy Turtle - February 09, 2011 - Report this comment
It's been done. .. in fact, the first song this writer ever posted here:

And even then, it had been done before. Which is not a problem; different versions are OK. What *is* a problem:

The third and fifth lines are one syllable over, as are the "private life", "torture", and "enhanced method" lines. Will give a pass on "corporate", as it's often pronounced "corp'rate". Hint: Use an apostrophe like that to show us that you know you're eliding the vowel. (Second hint: look up "elide". ;)
Also, the verse about her private life is totally irrelevant. Do you criticize Rachel Maddow for her lesbianism? (Or for her political views, as this writer does.) It's the critics of W who push hardest to allow gays to serve in the military (Agree here); why criticize service elsewhere in Gov. *especially* when there isn't the slightest shred of evidence about Condi?

Perhaps she just likes to keep her private life private? You said "into your private life, we won't pry", then proceeded to do exactly that in the next two lines. ... and, uh, should we rate all politicians on their sexual prowess, or only women? Is Hillary Clinton (Rice's successor, eventually) a great lay? If so, then why did Bill ... oh, n/m, you get the point -- actually, you don't. ;)

This isn't a disagreement based on politics. My own version was strongly anti-war, and critical of her for that. But it stuck to her politics, not her bedroom. (Also doubt that she had much to do with the "enhanced interrogation", other than obeying her boss; I think Dick Cheney was behind that, with the CIA's, Bush's, and Attorney General's blessing.)

Would also like to see the interlude, with the 16-beat hold on "die" in TOS - after which Jay goes right into the next verse *without taking a breath*. Saw him live in concert, well into his 60s. Still did it.

Overall, a 3 for the pacing glitches (Extra verses, as you did, can be cool, but not when they're irrelevant, as the private-life one was. She isn't Larry Craig; her sex life was never a public issue) and a 3 for homophobia, sexism, irrelevancy, and self-contradiction, as noted above. Could have been very good. 333.
Song Title Cop - February 09, 2011 - Report this comment
On top of everything else, the OS title is incorrect. It's just "Cara Mia".
squire malloy - March 03, 2011 - Report this comment
to song title cop my bad on title, but , on top of what else?
squire malloy - March 04, 2011 - Report this comment
to Tommy Turtle. As a neophyte I wasn't aware you could comment on comments. Hence my tardy rejionder.Guess i struck a nerve. Too bad. Some advice; Criticize my work if you want, but don't deign to tell me what I do or do not "get", or need to look up. Besides, everyone knows that "elide" means that someone told a falsehood on the net. I.e. "Jim elide when he said TT's rantings made any sense". Learn the difference between prying and hypothesizing, and the meaning of the word "exactly". Guess I was wrong about Condi, she seems to have a boyfriend and a rather long-winded one at that. Stick to the subject matter. Parody the Pols if you want to be clever. Gratuitous (look it up)cheap shots on the comment page may help you get a job on Fox "news", but they only deprive the public of your true genius. Read the parody correctly. Perhaps you are cadence challenged. Hint(alliteration, look it up) If following the boss is okay, why do those pesky Jews keep harrassing the Nazis who ran the camps? Write the JDL and lodge your complaints w/ them. Most of your critique was off base, irrelevant and just plain wrong. I give it a 2. You could have gotten a 3 if you hadn't obsessed over 2 or 3 lines. I must have missed the homophobic and sexist parts. Oh right, I used the word "gay". What is the PC word these days? Enlighten me.(lol) Those sentiments are not there, but are your projections. Maybe we should give our leaders a free pass. Yeah, she did a heckuva job, and until Queen Latifah gets hired for the same positions, Ms. Rice will undoubtedly be remembered as the greatest African-American woman ever to hold the posts. I never figured out how W ever passed on the Queen in the first place.
J J Ramone - March 04, 2011 - Report this comment
This is a good parody and I pretty much agree with most of the lines. She should've been more of a pianist instead of being a yes-person for W. As for the sexuality factor I saw an article in a magazine describing her meeting a Canadian trade minister in a Montreal (I LOVE THAT CITY!) supermarket while on an assignment. A big picture showed them talking in an aisle and the article said the two made whoopie in a local hotel. The Million Dollar Question is WHY? She is butt-ugly, like Esther on Sanford and Son.
Isaac Asimov - March 07, 2011 - Report this comment
"Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig".

Someone pointed TT to your belated reply, which pretty much proved what he said, and also, that you're apparently not willing to learn anything. If you truly want a reasoned discussion and analysis, drop TT a note at any of his parodies, but he's unlikely to waste his time on those whose songs, comments, and replies consist of argumentum ad hominem (look it up).

Song Title Cop was saying "on top of [what's said in the comment above]". ... oh, and "cadence challenged" is *not* alliterative. (look it up) End of time-wasting.
lorenzo lamas - March 24, 2011 - Report this comment
to I.A.As a true Latin lover I am dismayed at your ignorance of the subject. Look up non sequitur when you have the time (you seem to have a lot of it). How frustrating it must be to be so superior (argumentum, wow thats a hard one!) and to have to walk amongst the hoi polloi(not latin, look it up).I myself have neither the time nor the proclivity for (as described by"get up on the wrong side of the bed" 2/8/07) petulant people, and care little to carry on this drivel ad nauseam(THROW it up)

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