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Song Parodies -> "Goodbye Cool World"
Original Song Title:
"Goodbye Cruel World"
(MP3)Original Performer:
James Darren
Parody Song Title:
"Goodbye Cool World"
Parody Written by:
Michael Pacholek
The Lyrics
Not to be confused with the Pink Floyd song of the same title. Pink Floyd is the most overrated band in the history of rock and roll. Let's face it, behind Jerusalem, China, Berlin, Jericho, Hadrian's and Fenway Park, theirs is only the 7th most consequential wall in world history. And the others have better songs written about them too.
Oh, goodbye, cool world, I'm off to turning 30.
Gonna be an achy-jointed clown.
Paint my face to hide my good-for-nothing wrinkles
'cause a mean fickle fella named Father Time has struck me down!
Farewell to love, my wife is off and flirting.
Doesn't like my poker and my beers.
Or waking up for my three o'clocking tinkles
'cause old age is coming, and I'm old beyond my years!
Ho, ho, ho, step right up and take a look at a fool
a man who still thinks he's incomparably cool.
He still thinks Eddie Murphy is good for a laugh
and still thinks Van Halen is the greatest band by half!
Well, the joke's on me, an old man and I'm dirty.
Oh, hey, Red Buttons, save a condo up for me.
Send me down to Orlando, I don't care.
Let teenagers point at me and stare.
I'll tell the world that aging, here in 2003
just took this Eighties guy and made a wrinkled clown outta me!
Goodbye, cool world!
Gonna be an achy-jointed clown.
Paint my face to hide my good-for-nothing wrinkles
'cause a mean fickle fella named Father Time has struck me down!
Farewell to love, my wife is off and flirting.
Doesn't like my poker and my beers.
Or waking up for my three o'clocking tinkles
'cause old age is coming, and I'm old beyond my years!
Ho, ho, ho, step right up and take a look at a fool
a man who still thinks he's incomparably cool.
He still thinks Eddie Murphy is good for a laugh
and still thinks Van Halen is the greatest band by half!
Well, the joke's on me, an old man and I'm dirty.
Oh, hey, Red Buttons, save a condo up for me.
Send me down to Orlando, I don't care.
Let teenagers point at me and stare.
I'll tell the world that aging, here in 2003
just took this Eighties guy and made a wrinkled clown outta me!
Goodbye, cool world!
Red Buttons, a legendary entertainer who just passed his 84th birthday and refuses to give up show business, continues to do commercials for Century Village retirement communities in Florida, so my mention of him is not further evidence of my receding coolness. No, I never actually liked Van Halen, or any other metal band. Not a spandex fan. But seeing 18-to-22-year-olds as movers and shakers...sometimes too literally...does make me feel like the morning DJ in Harry Chapin's "WOLD": Feeling all of 45, going on 15. At least I still have all my own hair.
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You've gone to seed that badly at 30? How will you feel when you're 55? Trust me, you've got a lot of life ahead. - S.D., born 1947
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