The CBN 700-Club's paying tonight
For a pile of surreal bullshit calculated to incite
As Pat Robertson (Prat!) and Terry Mee-u-sen
And three or four more, equ'ly gruesome
Broadcast bigoted fundamentalist Christian shite

Railing against anyone Muslim or gay
Hypocrites earning televisual pay, wha-hey!
As Pat Robertson (Prat!) and Terry Mee-u-sen
And three or four more, with that twosome
Costing the seven hundred 65 cents per day

But they don't just pay for a "Praise the Lord", or a sermon now and again
No, it's a sour, 24-hour Pentecostal regimen
As Pat Robertson (Prat!) and Terry Mee-u-sen
And three or four more (probably usin')
Preach to the converted, Jesus Christ! Amen.

Their "science" is Intelligent Design
And any Israeli army jiggery-poke is utterly fine
That Pat Robertson (Prat!) and Terry Mee-u-sen
And three or four more, ooze- and schmoozin'
Pathetic'ly claim foreknowledge of the will divine

So whether it's God's own venge-yance for Ariel Sharon
Or fingering Hugo Chavez for assassina-shee-yon
That Pat Robertson (Prat!) and Terry Mee-u-sen
And three or four more (one called Susan?)
Warning all their viewers about Satan's spawn

So be careful what you watch on your telly tonight
If you hear a pious hypocrite passing wind, it very well might be
Prat Robertson (Pat!) or Terry Mee-u-sen
Or somebody with that gruesome twosome
Their words are mild and trite, they're really quite polite
Although hate they incite
Because the CBN 700-club... prays tonight