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Song Parodies -> "I Cannot Win Debates, I Can't"

Original Song Title:

"I'm Henry The Eighth, I Am"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Herman's Hermits

Parody Song Title:

"I Cannot Win Debates, I Can't"

Parody Written by:

William Tong

The Lyrics

As sung by Dubya, desperately outmatched in his first presidential debate with John Kerry on 09/30/04:
(instrumental intro)

I cannot win debates; I can't.
Cannot win debates; I can't, I can't.
I got buried by John Kerry 'bout war.
I can't parry his points, or keep score.

I must debate, though I cannot win (cannot win)...
And viewers think my war is just a scam (big scam)...
In debates, I stammer, cannot win...
Cannot win debates; I can't.

(Spoken:) Second verse... I get to curse!

I cannot win debates; I can't.
Cannot win debates; I can't, I can't.
I got buried by John Kerry 'bout war
I can't parry his points, or keep score.

I must debate, though I cannot win (cannot win)...
And viewers think my war is just a scam (big scam)...
In debates, I stammer; cannot win...
Cannot win debates; I can't.

(instrumental break)

I cannot win debates; I can't.
Cannot win debates; I can't, I can't.
I got buried by John Kerry 'bout war.
I can't parry his points, or keep score.

I must debate, though I cannot win (cannot win)...
And viewers think my war is just a scam (big scam)...
In debates, I stammer; cannot win...
Cannot win debates; I can't.

(Spoken:) Rove! Please! One more try!

Cannot win (cannot win)...
Cannot win (cannot win)...
Cannot win debates; I can't, I can't...
Cannot win debates, I can't.

(instrumental riff)

Nah!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 37

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   6
 6
 6
 
 2   0
 2
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 1
 
 4   2
 1
 1
 
 5   29
 28
 28
 

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