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Song Parodies -> "No Milk Today"

Original Song Title:

"No Milk Today"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Herman's Hermits

Parody Song Title:

"No Milk Today"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

No milk today, the cows have gone away
The farmer stands forlorn, he used to milk at dawn
No milk today, there came the strangest sight
Them cows went flying by in spaceships way up high

Wouldn't you know green ETs have all been
Examining with scopes and probing with machines
The Enquirer says that aliens were seen
Performing lewd and kinky acts bovine

No milk today, their udders all aglow
And much to our dismay, the sheep are acting gay

It's straight farm theft; all the geese, ducks most fowly
Spirited out in a green disc glowing round
It's such a crime when I think the poor collie
Was beamed up, beamed down

No milk today it wasn't over though
They beamed my Chevrolet, into Penobscot Bay
Crops were all flayed the pasture was enhanced
With lines and polygons, an art geometrance

Fox Mulder knows just what this message means
He postulates along his supernatural themes
How can we know what malice lurks unseen?
Might find a war with things superterrene!

No milk today the cows were led astray
It's bad news for the morn, milk prices raise at dawn

Now all that's left is a place charred and scary
A barbed wire fence that the army has set down
The farmland's prime but gov'ment's closed the dairy
Just now been un-cowed

No milk today the cows have gone away
The Little Blue Boy's horn is sounding all forlorn
No milk today 'cus Bossy's on a flight
And red rotating lights are blinking in the night

Wouldn't you know green ETs have all been
Examining with scopes and probing with machines
The Enquirer says that aliens were seen
Performing lewd and kinky acts bovine

No milk today, their udders all aglow
And much to our dismay, there's no more curds and whey

Farmers bereft now there's no more pasteurizing
Elmer and Else all their calves are now mutant
Now all that's left 'stead of homogenizing
Are ETs quite all lactose intolerant

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 1
 
 5   9
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Know 1 can hear you dream - October 04, 2003 - Report this comment
I donīt think that crop cirkle is a geometric formation. I think it just spells out 5-5-5 if you look at it from the side.
Claude Prez - October 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Dairy dairy good. Ridicowlously amoosing. Udderly--ah, never mind.
mandamoo - October 06, 2003 - Report this comment
I, for one, will be refraining from cow jokes ! Another funny and very clever parody guys !
John Jenkins - October 07, 2003 - Report this comment
You milked this topic for all the humor you could get out of it. Very entertaining.
Bob Gomez - October 08, 2003 - Report this comment
No one's today/The one's guy's gone away/That soy-milk drinking snob/This message is from Bob.....Love yer! d;:^)
Belinda - October 08, 2003 - Report this comment
Another good one - "an art geometrance" is priceless.
Peregrin - October 10, 2003 - Report this comment
Thank you all!
PrincessofPoP - October 11, 2003 - Report this comment
Very funny! Made me thirsty :-)
Earl S. Garber, aka Old Comedywriter - December 14, 2003 - Report this comment
Milk. It has vitamin D5 to build a strong parody.
somebody - December 19, 2003 - Report this comment
I want to se photos not words,that is borring.
davmi - February 13, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm going to Mardi Gras in Galveston, TX tomorrow where the featured artist is...Peter Noone! I'm going to copy this out for my friends and we'll have our own little sing-a-long!
Rick D - July 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Don't think I'm ignoring you. I haven't recieved any mp3, probably my email failures. I can send you my adress privatly and we can do something with CD. Try one more time to send mp3. I'm dying to hear it. (By the way good parody)
Johnny D - August 02, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Clever & funny parody ..... the line "Just now been un-cowed" sounds eerily Shakespearian, too!
Adagio - August 02, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Best line..'Are ETs quite all lactose intolerant'. And you mentioned Fox Mulder!!! 5's
Jeff Reuben - August 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent job!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 02, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Cow. There, I got it out of my system. This parody totally rocked, I read it several times over to pick up all the nuance of... extrea-terrestrials giving enemas to guernseys...superb rhyming, too. 5s
Melhi - August 04, 2004 - Report this comment
N - Moo-ving! ]:o
Phil Alexander - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Wonderfully weird, M&P... sometimes I wonder what you two are on (and whether I can get any ;-) )
The Invincible - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Wht is wrong with aliens? Whenever they land, the first thing they see is a cow and just assume its the most intelligent creature on the planet? Have you ever tried to have a conversation with a cow? It's not very interesting! I'm giving this parody full fives.
Lifeliver - December 09, 2012 - Report this comment
Having just completed an assault on Herman's Hermits, I went exploring and discovered this golden oldie. Still good today, timeless sharp wordplay, the humor is not worn, refreshing as the dawn. Udder delight, M & P
Meriadoc - December 09, 2012 - Report this comment
LL - thanks for dropping in on this one. It's always been one of my favorites. Herman's Hermits songs are some of the most fun to parody!

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